JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG Happy Ram Navami!

Dear Friends and Fellow Bhaktas--

HAPPY RAM NAVAMI!

Jaya!

I recall the first time my eyes fell upon the Hanuman murti at my Beloved's ashram. I fell to my knees at his feet and wept the most profound tears of joy.

And so began my love affair with the greatest bhakta in the pantheon of Hindu deities. He is akin to John in relation to Jesus.

To have been given the name "Bhakti" by my Guruji is an honor I don't take lightly. It's a beautiful female name, and certainly sums up my life, my heart, and my sadhana. Swamiji Durgananda (Sally Kempton) once said to me, "You ARE Bhakti!" What a boon. For others to see this--especially during my intensive three years of internal work when insecurities abound--was indeed a gift. So much Grace! As we become ripe, we experience this as a universal truth.

RAM NAVAMI is the last day of Chait Navratri--the spring festival honoring Goddess Durga, one of the ten Mahavidyas in Hindu mythology.
Ram is an avatar of Lord Vishnu--one of the last avatars of Sri Vishnu to take human form. My beloved Hanuman is the greatest devotee of Ram. And so perhaps you understand why today is such a special celebration to me. There's so much LOVE and DEVOTION!

In addition to my regular (meditation) practice, I will honor Ram Navami by reading my favorite excerpts from the RAMAYANA, the epic tale of Sita, Ram, and Hanuman (I highly recommend Michael Buck's translation); I will chant my favorite Ram and Hanuman bhajans; perhaps read my favorite lines from Sri Rudram; and I will end the day meditating on my Heart Center, where the energy of all of these glorious deities reside.

This sadhana is so rich. Imagine being stuck in a body riddled with severe pain from spinal cord diseases...and yet still being able to quiet the mind, transmute anxieties, etc., and bring yourself back to the source. This IS grace. This is the reason for these spiritual celebrations: renewal.

This is the work of the physical Guru, and the Inner Guru. And you are That!

Wishing you all a blessed evening.

As always, from my heart to yours,
Namo Namah!

Bhakti

OM SHREE SHREE GURUMAYI...JAYA!

"In truth, the gift of life must always be recognized and never be taken for granted. Why is life so precious? In Siddha Yoga philosophy, we recognize that in this human life we have a rare opportunity. We can transform an ordinary perception of this universe into an extraordinary vision. To be on this planet and to behold the universe from the divine perspective is a sign of an illumined heart. To put this vision to best use in the best way possible is a human being’s highest duty."

--Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
Sadhana of the Heart, Vol. I, pg. 162



To see everyone, everywhere as a manifestation of Divinity is a rare gift. For this gift, I thank my Beloved Jesus Christ, the Light Within, and my physical spiritual teacher, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, for giving me the key-- for showing me that I am the Guru I have been searching for; I am That, the Self. She is the manifestation of the Self--showing me my Truth. It is only with this supreme knowledge, and through this gift of knowing the Truth that I have been able to get through the past two years of "hell". Even while going through my darkest times, through the worst physical pain and mental anguish, it is the knowledge of the Truth that has made it possible for me to go on. It is my knowledge of how precious this very life is that carries me through the darkness, even when "I" can not see the light. I know it's there. 'IT' is always present; the Self, the Guru within and without, is always present--even when our minds cannot perceive this notion; even when we feel as though we have sunk so low that we feel we have lost everything we have ever worked for (spiritually speaking), the Light is shining.

When I feel I can no longer live with the physical pain and mental anguish caused by the level of pain I am in, there is always something that gets me through those incredibly dark, wretched times. That 'something' is the Light Within. That something is the knowledge that EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE is of a divine nature. Yes, EVERYTHING. I recall that even my worst feelings and emotions, and the darkest places in my psyche are a manifestation of pure consciousness. Nothing exists that is not God.



As the Hindus say: 'Nothing exists that is not Shiva'.

In the New Testament John proclaims that Jesus was made before him, even though he is IN him!

The Creator is the Created, and vice-versa. (Take a breath and chew on that one for awhile--it does make sense, I promise!)



Yes, that is the key.



I have been struggling--REALLY struggling--these past few months with issues of life vs. death. How is one to live with this amount of pain? And worst still, how am I supposed to live with the knowledge that my disability is taking a toll on my mother?



The answer, my friends, is recognition that all is Divine! Once experienced, it's a simple recognition; it's like riding a bicycle. The problem occurs in remembrance, i.e. 'how to remember this while in the throws of despair?' Not such and easy task!

When I'm in a deep, dark hole (created by my mind no longer being able to handle the level of physical pain--coupled with the toxicity of the meds I'm on), I find it virtually impossible to remember that this, too, is Shiva. This too is a manifestation of God. It's all good! Even the 'bad' is good. Actually, if we take the concept of 'good' and 'bad' out of everything, we are left with simple 'being'. (And I very graciously thank Master Dr. Yuen for reminding me of this TRUTH.)



In short, I have not been posting on this blog for some time now for the simple reason that I had nothing inspiring to write. I was loathe to write about my struggles with keeping my head above the water. My journey since last November's surgery has been brutal: the greatest thing I've learned is that I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. If people don't want to be supportive of my condition, that's their decision, that's their choice, that's their prerogative. It's also MY prerogative to focus on the good--to focus on the people who actually take an interest in helping me survive. People who are willing to admit that one of their loved ones is suffering and that I need their help, rather than making every excuse in the book to run the other way.



The truth is, I have PLENTY of supportive, loving people in my life. The problem used to be that I spent so much energy trying to get the people who DIDN'T understand,-- and who DIDN'T want to help me-- to understand what I'm going through, and I wasn't focusing on the people who ARE here for me, who ARE helping me.



I was taking care of some online business when I came across the above quote--and that's when remembrance hit me. The question of life vs. death is no longer going to be in my vocabulary. (When did that question even enter my vocabulary? I'm the one of the most positive people I've ever met. I know the answer to that question: the level of pain mixed with the high level of pain medications.) This life IS a gift. I have been to the darkest caverns of my soul--to the darkest corners of my mind--and I've survived. I will continue to survive.



I spent the past three weeks withdrawing from 1/3 of the total amount of Oxycontin that I take for my pain. This has been a hellish experience, to say the least. I have experienced hell in all of it's forms since July 29, 2005, when my neck decided to fall apart; however, trying to lower the dosage of Oxycontin was hell: shaking, irritability, restlessness, loose bowels (eww! but true!), insomnia, crying, and more shaking. I reached a point where I had to admit that I am no longer living for myself; I am alive for the sake of my mom and dad; for my nieces and nephews, etc. What is the purpose of experiencing all of this pain, day in and day out? That's the conclusion that I drew last week. That's a terribly low place to be.



I don't think it's hard to imagine how this could wear a person down--two years of third-degree-burn-like sensations going down your left arm, into the wrist, and palm, through the middle and ring fingers; going down your back into both shoulder blades. Etc. You've heard it all before.



But the answer to my question is simple. And, of course, my Beloved Gurumayi Chidvilasananda revealed it to me just when I needed it: Life is a gift. Focus on the positive.



There are plenty of people in my life who don't give me the time of day. They make it a point to tell me that it is 'difficult to be around you' and talk about my bad moods, etc. They ignorantly tell me to 'get out more'--not knowing that if I could, I would--DUH! Although I no longer have patience for this kind of behavior anymore, I forgive them, and I thank God that they know nothing of the pain that I am going through. They may have forsaken me, but that's not my problem. It's not even my business, really. What others' think and/or feel about me is not my business.



I have been blessed with the knowledge and vision that everything, everywhere is Divine, albeit I don't live in this state of unity awareness all the time. Even the greatest sinner has the Light Within, shining brightly--the problem is, they can't see it; they don't know it exists--and that's why they do ungodly things, such as kill, molest, rape, etc. 'Forgive them, they know not what they do.' I say, 'They know not what they are.' I believe when Jesus was on the cross saying "Forgive them, they know not what they do", he was saying--they don't know that My Light is shining right within them. They are ignorant of their own divinity.

Jesus came to Earth not merely to show us that He was God, but to show us that WE, too, are God. We have the eternal flame burning inside every cell of our bodies! The nucleus of every atom in our body throbs, pulses, stating 'The Word' (Om---God!). "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God." The 'Word' was God. In other words, God created sound, and the Sound was God: sound was made of God--and God was in sound. The early Hindus explained it thusly: you have pure gold. You melt the gold and make necklaces, rings, picture frames--heck--even the interior of one of Elvis' Cadillacs. Even though the gold has taken different forms, it's still gold. If you melt down a gold earring, you have pure gold. This is what I believe the author of Genesis was stating when he said "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God": God began creating--and He is in everything He is, and He is in everything He does.

Lest I digress, I must say thank you to everyone who has kept in touch. I will try to hold my head up high--thanks to Dr. Kam Yuen, I can actually hold my head up for up to 5 hours at a time, and he got rid of my stomach spasms and my migraines--I'm going to write an article on him soon. Stay tuned. (If you are in any kind of chronic pain, please click on his name for more information on instant healing. This is no joke--he is the real deal.)



Darkness is ALWAYS dispelled by Light. It can be no other way. If you feel like you can't go on, like you have no purpose in life anymore; if you are on medicine that makes you depressed, or if you feel you aren't getting the support you need, pray for help. Pray for guidance. Reach out to someone in your neighborhood. If you have to, beg for mercy. I begged for God to dispel some of the darkness I was experiencing-- and two days later I happened across the above quote by my beloved spiritual guide. Not to mention the fact that my friend Sally paid for me to have an alternative healing session with a woman named Anne--who in turn sent me to her husband--who in turn introduced me to Master Yuen.

I just thought of a funny image: For the past three weeks I have been feeling as though I was at the absolute end of my rope--and believe me, this is not a place I've been many times before. And then yesterday, something clicked. I found the Gurumayi's quote. I got more insight from Master Yuen. It seemed like the sun came out after a long winter's sleep. I realized that yes, perhaps I was at the end of my rope--but it was then that I realized that I merely had to look up, look around, and I see that there were other ropes to grab hold of. I stopped banging my head against the same wall over and over again (figuratively speaking, of course) and grabbed a different rope; or should I say a different 'life preserver'.

Prayer is so powerful--and I'm not talking about blind faith. You have to believe, you have to know that we (the entire world, universe) is, on some mysterious level, a collective soul. If you ask for help, someone will hear you; something will happen to you that will open your eyes and begin the healing process. Even something as simple as a quote, or as gracious as an email from a Master healer can open your eyes to the beauty of life--and the knowledge that life is precious--and should not be taken for granted.



My love always and forever to Gurumayi Chidvilasananda---the One who gives freely of her love, support, knowledge, and wisdom. I have given her my heart and she has given me the world.



Om Shree Maha Ganapatayi Namaha!

Om Shree Shree Ganesh,

The remover of obstacles.



Go in peace, my friends.

In the famous words of my beloved favorite guitarist (tied in first place with Frank Zappa, of course) STEVE VAI: "Remember: LIFE IS GOOD!'

~Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, bhakti, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, Divine Love, quotes, spirituality, steve vai, pain management, Dr Yuen,

FOR GURUMAYI...

* These poems were written on January 23, 2007 during and after in intensely Divine-Love filled meditation. May they inspire the immense joy in your heart to spring forth and overwhelm you. May they bathe you in the nectarean ocean of the Divine's Love--a reflection of your own pure heart. Love, Bhakti.

A Loss For Words....

O Bhakti,

what can you possibly write?

A loss for words...

The joy and bliss and love

Have shattered my being

And refuse to let me

reassemble myself

into something small!

A loss for words...

Can there be greater bliss than this?.

______________

.

Someone Smashed My Ego!

'See through my Eye

completely now.

'Understand what it means

to fall back into the physical realm.

'Understand the need for forgiveness all around:

'Their eyes are veiled;

'Hearts encased in stone.

Long ago,

An artist with a chisel

took my ego by the hand--

And recently smashed it

into 1,000 pieces!

In slow motion--

shards of grayish-blue glass

flew in every direction.

'No more questions.

Nothing to do now

Except renounce the suffering--

as a part of this grand affair!--

and take refuge

in the sultry Sun of the Heart.

So be it.

.

________________

.

Sitting In The Boat With My Beloved

Is there no

end to this

Divine Love?

The gift of

the bounty

within -

Clear as day.

'See the

peaceful calm;

a sea of stillness

radiating Divine energy.

C

O

N

S

C

I

O

U

S

N

E

S

S

Supreme Bliss!

O, Gurumayi--

I would ride this wave

to your shore

if you weren't already

rowing the boat!

.

________________

.

The Gift

My face cannot

contain the smile

my Gurumayi elicits.

I laugh aloud

in wondrous joy

At the gifts she gives...The Gift!

.

______________________

.

Won't You Excuse Me, Please?

I must go

Put down this pen

And melt into

My Guru's LOVE.

.

.

.

.

.

(All poems written and ©January 23, 2007 D.L. Bhakti Brophy

Please do NOT reprint without written permission.

Thank you.)

TAGS: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, poetry, mysticism, spirituality, Bhakti, Divine Love,

Mystical Union With My Beloved Guru: A Poem

Communion with Gurumayi.
Sweet Communion.

I have been doing a
"Silent Weekend Retreat" at home.
Reflecting on The Self.
Contemplating the fact that I see
God everywhere, in every thing that exists.
(Why me? How did I get to this state?
Many lifetimes of inner work?
I am blessed beyond belief! Amen.)
Feeling the love and joy of the World
Pouring through my veins
While sunbathing in the backyard.

Earlier in the day, a doe pranced up to me--
She stopped about twenty feet away.
We gazed at each other for several precious moments.
I instantaneously recognized the doe
as a manifestation of Gurumayi.
(Gurumayi has an affinity for deer.)

Several hours later,
While lying on my stomach
Basking in the rejuvenating rays of the sun,
An image of myself sitting across
from Gurumayi entered my mind.
I felt her presence sitting across from me--
Her in a light-golden silk robe,
Sitting with her bare feet on the floor.
We were at her ashram
In a vanilla ice cream colored room.
I sat silently,
Absorbing her presence.
I was basking in OUR energy-
Our Love.

I drifted out of the lovely darshan
And began wondering if I could ever
Get a privite sitting with Gurumayi.
I began contemplating writing
to her ashram with this inquiry in mind.
I got only so far as beginning to wonder
What I would write in this letter
When I realized that
I WAS in the presence of my Beloved Gurumayi.
She WAS sitting before me,
Blessing me with her darshan.

We sat across from each other--
Gazing into each other's eyes.
I was absorbing our energy--
While she sat reflecting my purity, my spirit,
my light, and my innate Love.
No need for answers;
There are no more questions to ask.

(Two years ago,
I had already thanked her for
Everything she has already given to me--
Mainly igniting the dorment
Light of God within.)

This current darshan was pure LOVE.
I contemplated bowing down and kissing her feet.
She made it clear that this was not necessary.
Gurumayi sat across from me
And she slowly became transparent--
I, too, dissolved.
Our energies merged.

Gurumayi blessed me with her darshan
In such a graceful way
As to bless me with my own darshan.
We are One.
We have merged.

Our love is beyond words.
Our love is the purest form possible--
Indescribable,
And all intoxicating.
Our love is the reflection
of the light of God within.

Om Namah Shivaya.
Sadgurunath Maharaj ki Jay!

My wish is that everyone, everywhere realize that the light of God (please substitute whatever name you give to the sustaining force of the universe) is right within your own heart. You possess the light of God. You are a manifestation of God. No matter how 'bad' or 'sinful' you think you are, the light within your own heart is ten-million times stronger than any transgression. No matter how much pain and suffering you are undergoing, remember that
there is a calmness underneath that 'storm'. Meditation is the key in finding that peaceful place within.


Life is good.
My love,

Bhakti


For guidance in understanding the mystical experience of 'darshan', here is the Wikipedia definition: Darshan is a Sanskrit and Hindu (also used to some extent in Urdu) term meaning sight (in the sense of an instance of seeing something or somebody), vision, apparition, or a glimpse. It is most commonly used for visions of the divine; that is, of a god or a very holy person or artifact. We could have a "darshan" of the deity in the temple (at the gross level) or have a "darshan" in that inward eye of a light or awareness (at a subtle plane).

Definition of Guru: One who dispels the darkness of ignornance. (On a personal note, I would like to personally add that a 'true' Guru is one who ultimately teaches you that what you are searching for is right inside yourself. I would be weary of any guru who teaches otherwise. My Guru (Gurumayi) has showed me the light within myself. I am forever grateful, as I believe the above poem reflects. )

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Gurumayi, poetry, darshan, Self-realization

HAPPY SHIVARATRI!

HAPPY SHIVARATRI!

I just chanted the wonderful 'King Of Mantras': OM NAMAH SHIVAYA in honor of Shivaratri. As you can see, Kitty is still deep in meditation (or contemplation; it's hard to tell!).

May everyone, everywhere, benefit from the blessings of my prayers this evening. May my pain be enough so that no one else may have to suffer pain. May everyone, everywhere experience peace and love in their hearts. This is my wish. May it be so.

Tonight's chanting and meditation is dedicated to my beloved teacher, Sally Kempton Durgananda, and to my Beloveds-- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, Baba Muktananda, and Bade Baba Nityananda.

Om Namah Shivaya!

Sadgurunath Maharaj ki Jay!

LOVE, Bhakti

tags: jaibhakti, Shiva, Shivaratri, Sally Kempton, Gurumayi,