JAI BHAKTI™ Blog: Tapas, Trust, And Grace

Dearest Ones,

I went through a period of profound purification caused by tapas (spiritual austerities) the past two months.

While we go through this heavy, dark period of angst and depression,

the mind is not fickle about helping us forget that the purifying aspects of tapas is not only a part of the 

spiritual journey,

but an essential clearing out of samskaras--old habits/tendencies etched in the fabric

of our subconscious minds.

In the midst of this round of purification,

the elephant I was wrestling in the dark was unadulterated fear.

Fear, in any form,  always comes back to fear of death. Always.

For me, it was not so much my own mortality I was fearing. I made peace with

my mortality years ago. I would have to in order to navigate my way through life

with these spinal cord injuries and severe nerve pain.

A decade ago I used to say I had no fear of death,

I only had fear of living the rest of my life

in this hellish pain.

I was not wrestling with fear of my own death, it was more a fear of those around me dying.

Not being physically able to care for myself compounded the angst. (It's not surprising to me that dealing with unadulterated fear was at the center of my tapasya. In the past ten months, 13 friends and family members have died. Yama's been a busy god of death in my area as of late.)

During the purifying process, we tend to feel once removed

from the Self within-- the Atman, our truest and highest Self (aka God, Pure Consciousness, insert your word of choice here ______).

It's not that we forget that the Self/God dwells within the Heart Center,

we simply cannot access this sanctuary freely. Our mind helps us forget the portals of entry, be it chanting, meditating, practicing hatha, kriya, or jnana yoga. We don't feel it's innate pull, the longing to get back. This causes more angst, and, as mentioned above,

the mind is not going to remind you how to access the Self within.

Ha! No.

The ego enjoys dragging us back down

to its state of ignorance.

It's at this time that some lose faith;

they feel forsaken.

It's at this time we must Trust.

If God, in the form of Pure Consciousness,

has created everything, everywhere,

how could God ever leave?

Where could he go that he is not already?

If God is everywhere,

within everything,

He cannot leave.

Hence, there is no "finding" God/The Self within and without,

only discovering and remembrance of That which always was present, even if we weren't.

Once we realize that our angst, depression, and heaviness of Heart

is a causal effect of tapas--

once we remember what we forgot (that we are the Self within),

we sometimes get angry at God for hiding His presence from us.

This is a good time to contemplate the word grace.

The Nataraj, the murti (sculpture) of Lord Shiva dancing while

crushing the ego under foot,

has a five-fold function,

one of them being the ability to veil Himself from us, and

another being the giver of grace that enables us to experience Him again.

At the moment we remember the Self within--

that glorious energy center within that sages, seers, and mystic poets

have aptly coined the ocean of bliss,

that is when we bow our heads below our Hearts

and say thank you. Thank you for taking us back to ourSelves.

As the residual ash of tapas disappears,

we find ourselves back in union with our true nature.

I experienced this today in the form of crying tears of joy

45 minutes into meditation.

I Witnessed myself not as my body,

but as the one who knows I have a body.

Not as the one who is in pain,

but as the one who knows I experience pain.

I became The Witness, experiencing pure awareness.

Jesus revealed Himself in my Heart Center,

along with Hanuman, Krshna, Bade Baba Nityananada, Baba Muktananda, Swami Chidvilasananda Paramahansa; all of the great bhaktas were dancing within,

reminding me they had never left,

but were only shadowed by the ignorance of the small mind.

And so I say Thank You

For showing me what I need to hold on to,

and what I can leave behind.

Thank you for this gift of tapas that felt like hell,

but left me stronger and wiser.

And perhaps chipped away at that pesky ego that keeps me bound.

So Much Love,

Bhakti

Namo Namah

Photo & Essay © 2015 D.L. Bhakti Brophy

All Rights Reserved. Jai Bhakti™

JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG WISHES YOU A HAPPY CHAITRA NAVRATRI!

Dear Ones,

It is with great love and respect that I wish you all a Happy Chaitra Navratri!

This year we celebrate Spring Navratri from March 21 - March 28.

Above, is a photograph of my lovely Goddess Durga pendant from Gurudev Siddha Peeth, my beloved Guru's ashram in Ganespuri, India (thank you Savatri!).


Have a wonderful holiday filled with much kirtan, meditation, and great joy!

Kali Durge, Namo Namah!


Love,
Bhakti






Photo © 2015 Brophy
All Rights Reserved

BHAKTI BROPHY Quote No. 77.7 JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG

"I forgot to remember."

~ Bhakti Brophy, © 2008





TWITTER:
@BhaktiBrophy
@JaiBhakti™

JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG BHAKTI BROPHY: THE VALUES I MOST ADMIRE IN A PERSON

This evening I was asked what values I admire most in a person. Here is my response:


"An Open Mind and Open Heart:
The ability to forgive oneself and others.
The ability to Love oneself and others."

Forgiveness and love start right here, right now.



Jai Bhakti!
Victory to Love and Devotion!™
THAT is what my blog is all about,
Hence the name.

Namo Namah, my Friends.
Namo Namah!





©2014 DL BHAKTI BROPHY
All Rights Reserved

Thank you for asking permission before reposting.

THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME HOME (2005)

ॐ नमः शिवाय 

FOR YOU

Thank you for calling me home...

My beloved.

Your warmth, Your love, Your grace

Carry me beyond the mind,

Beyond the body,

Beyond the pain.

You heal me with Your loving Shakti--

After a while, I surrender.

You uphold me,

You cleanse me;

I sway to the rhythm of Your tender caress.

An ocean of nectar envelops me--

A fireball of grace

Rejuvenates me.

Your love transforms me

Until I no longer exist;

Until there is nothing

But Your love.

Thank You for calling me home.


-- Bhakti Brophy 
    जय भक्ति ™





© 12/29/2005 DL Bhakti Brophy
All Rights Reserved
(Originally published in 2005, JaiBhakti™, जय भक्ति ™)

BHAKTI BROPHY QUOTE No. 7.7 COMPASSION

Compassion is the only answer because Love is truly all that exists under the veil of Maya--Maya itself being a manifestation of the One.


©2014

BHAKTI YOGA: Mundaka Upanishad

Take the great bow of the sacred scriptures,
Place on it the arrow of devotion;
Then draw the bowstring of meditation
And aim at the target, the Lord of Love.

The mantram is the bow, the aspirant
Is the arrow, and the Lord the target.
Now draw the bowstring of meditation,
And hitting the target be one with him.

~ Mundaka Upanishad (Part 2. 2:3-4)


This Upanishad was written circa 2,000 BC.
These two verses define the essense of Bhakti Yoga. "Bhakti" is Love and Devotion--combined with a strong longing for Union (yoga) with the Atman, the Self; knowledge of the Truth.


May you ALL draw the bowstring of devotion and become One with the Lord, your Self Within!


Love and All Great Blessings,
Bhakti*




* I was blessed with this name (Jaya Bhakti! Jai Bhakti!) by my Beloved Guru ji.

THE INFINITE SUN

While in meditation, I heard myself referring to The Self Within as THE INFINITE SUN.
I find this quite fitting--perhaps this will be the title of my new book.
Here's an excerpt from the journal entry written while coming out of this joyous meditation. Enjoy!



THE INFINITE SUN

My Heart Center on Fire
with cool rays of the Infinite Sun;
The Self Within.
Source of Infinite Love and Light.
Life.

No body.
Nobody.
Just am.





 © 2013 DL Bhakti Brophy
All Rights Reserved
(Excerpt from new book.)

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. (JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG ARCHIVE)

Peace or Drama
Love or Fear
Heart or Mind
YOUR CHOICE.



©2013 DL Bhakti Brophy
(Excerpt from new book.)

Quote # 57 Transmutation of Anger

"Anger is a ball of constricted energy that comes from and dissolves back into Pure Consciousness. What happens in between is your choice."

To read the entire essay regarding transmuting anger back into Pure Consciousness energy, click here.

JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG Reader Question Regarding My "Anger Management" Quote

A dear friend and fellow blogger, Judy, asked an interesting question regarding my "Anger Management" quote.
Here is my quote:

"Oh anger. I will stare you in the face until you bow down and melt back into Pure Consciousness. How Dare you veil my joy?"

Here is Judy's question:

"Is this your anger? Someone else's?"


Here is my answer to Judy's question:

What an interesting question!
In this case, it was indeed my anger.

Yesterday, I was experiencing a high level of physical pain, yet, I was still highly aware of the Divine Love swimming and dancing around in my Heart. This is an interesting experience, because I'm Witnessing both the physical and spiritual aspects of my being at both times. What a gift.Often when I am in a higher level of physical pain than normal, I cognitively "know" that this place within my Heart exists, yet the pain sensations veil the actual experience of being enveloped in Divine Love.

What happened was, while in this state of Union, I went onto YouTube and watched the Good Morning America interview with the jury foreman of the Jodi Arias trial, and while listening to him speak, I noticed this surge of anger welling up inside. As you probably know, when this type of anger wells up, the anger (ego) tries to take center stage. Being in the Witness State of watching my emotions, I literally "watched" and was totally aware of this anger consuming every part of my being: my face getting heated, thoughts racing, etc.

At that moment, I was left with a clear choice: react to the anger (feed the anger, by reacting to my thoughts, maybe leaving a disgruntled comment on YouTube) or simply continue watching the emotion of anger until it burns itself out and subsides. And that's what I chose to do.

All emotions are balls of constricted energy. They come from Pure Consciousness, and, ultimately, return back into pure consciousness. What happens in between those two points is ...well, it's usually a hot mess of drama! And more uncomfortable, un-enlightening emotions. 

Because I was connected to my Inner Self, I was able to see the exact moment when I was given the choice to react or observe.

I chose to observe and ride out the tsunami of anger until it dissipated.

I found your question so interesting.

The SAME technique, of observing, rather than reacting, can be employed when we are experiencing other's anger. 

I must admit, I often DO get caught up in my emotions and react. That's part of the human condition. People often talk of spiritual "practices" or their meditation "practice", and that's just it: until we become completely liberated form the trappings of the ego, we practice the techniques that keep us connected to our Inner Self, the Self of All (aka God, Pure Consciousness, Divinity, our Buddha nature, etc.).


And thank you for that enlightening question. It was quite interesting to go back and deconstruct yesterday's experience with the heated anger. The funniest thing is: I don't even know why the anger got so intense! What triggers us is not important; how we react is key. 

QUOTE #17 Anger Management

Oh anger. I will stare you in the face until you bow down and melt back into Pure Consciousness energy. How dare you veil my joy?
AUM



c. May 2013 D.L. Bhakti Brophy
All Rights Reserved.

BHAKTI BROPHY QUOTE: #12

Friends--

I keep finding the following quote around the net, used on various platforms as a definition of Bhakti Yoga.  It's important to note that I wrote these words in response to a Hatha Yoga teacher who was using the terms Seva  and Bhakti Yoga interchangeably.  These words are in no way the definitive last word on Bhakti Yoga, however, since the quote is showing up on teaching websites around the net, I shall share it with you all on Jai Bhakti:

BHAKTI YOGA QUOTE

"Bhakti Yoga is Love and Devotion; closely related to intense longing for Union. Offering one's work and deeds as an offering is called Seva (self-less service) which would be more along the lines of Kriya (action) Yoga. BHAKTI is an intense longing: an innate pull of intense devotion and Love for one's true Self-- both the Inner and Outer God, or whatever name one uses in naming their higher Self."           
                                
-- c. 2012 Bhakti Brophy

      

The Mind Can Free Us or Enslave Us: The Choice is Yours!

“When will you live today?” is one of my favorite quotes. I have it written on the wall in the basement, right next to my drum set because I used to play the drums when I was trying to escape feelings like anger, anxiety, fear, etc. The quote reminded me that every moment I spent being angry, anxious, or fearful, I lost the precious moments of the day at hand. This quote reminds me that if I spend my time being upset about the past, or worrying about the future, then I am NOT living today. I am not living in the present moment.

Many of us have a million and one diversions that keep us from dealing with our strong emotions and negate our ability to live in the present moment. I live with chronic pain due to an incurable spinal disease. Yesterday was a particularly bad day—I could not handle the pain level and it made me intensely angry and mentally stressed. Instead of doing a meditation practice that I knew would dissolve the energy of the strong emotions, I walked up to the ice cream shop and got a double dip of coffee ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. At the time, this seemed like a much easier way of pacifying the horrible day I was having than doing a simple meditation practice. On my way home from the ice cream shop, I sat upon the steps of my local church and prayed for help with the current situation. As I truly allowed myself to feel and experience the mental pain and anguish caused by the physical pain, I cried, and the intense emotions dissipated. The rest of the day was pleasant, and I was able to interact with others—and myself-- more lovingly. I had reconnected with the peace within. The key to finding this peace is living in the present moment. The only place where peace truly exists is in the present moment. Moreover, the only way to connect with the present moment is through mindfulness meditation.

Most people cringe when I mention the word ‘meditation’. They get this look of fear on their face, tell me they have tried to meditate once or twice before, and inevitably say things like:

“I couldn’t stop thinking.”

“My mind was driving me crazy. There was no peace anywhere to be found. My mind was thinking more than usual!”


“All I could hear was my heartbeat and it nearly drove me insane. Plus, I kept thinking the same thought repeatedly.”

“I gave up trying to meditate because I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking. I’m just not cut out for it.”


Friends, allow me to clarify one thing with regard to the mind: the mind is not the enemy. It is the innate function of the mind to think, reason, acquire and apply knowledge. Therefore, when sitting for meditation, the key is not to stop the mind from doing its job, but to ‘Witness’ the mind. The key thing to remember is that the beginner’s goal in meditation is to watch the thoughts that arise in your mind. Simply be aware of the thoughts as they arise and disappear, and do not get ensnared by their drama. Just because you have a thought does not mean that you have to react to it. It is the mind’s job to think, so no matter what, unless you give it some downtime (i.e. meditation) and give it the space to turn in on itself, it will just keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

I know from experience that this may not be the easiest concept to grasp. The thought of ‘not being attached to thoughts’ and merely ‘witnessing’ them may seem rather odd, or even impossible. Thoughts come and go; it is as simple as that. As the Buddhists say, just think of them as clouds passing by in the sky. Alternatively, you can think of them like this: imagine that you have just poured yourself a tall glass of seltzer. You stare at the glass and watch as the bubbles at the bottom of the glass rise up, reach the top, hang out there for awhile, and then—POP—they’re gone. This is the way of thoughts: they are pulsations of energy that come and go.

When I say that the mind is not the enemy, I must make one thing clear. If you stay attached to your thoughts 24 hours a day, then the mind does enslave you. You have become a slave to your thoughts. However, if you learn some mindfulness techniques to help you begin a simple meditation practice, you will find that your mind is the vehicle that sets you free. You need your mind for Self-Realization. Your mind takes you to the Truth (peace) within yourself. Your mind is always seeking for something, always attaching itself to some sensory desire. As Osho says in his Book of Secrets, “The mind has to be turned from seeking to nonseeking.” This is done through meditation. The mind stops reacting to the world outside and begins to explore the incredible world within.

In future columns, I will be teaching you mindfulness techniques, simple meditation techniques, as well as sharing with you some important life lessons I have learned on my spiritual journey. For now, I would like to share with you the most simple meditation technique that you can do anywhere.

Find a comfortable position, perhaps sitting cross-legged on the floor with your back straight and your knees supported, or sitting upright on a chair with your feet hip width apart and your arms comfortably positioned at your side. Now, take a deep breath. While breathing in, count to four-- fill your entire lungs with air. Hold the air inside the lungs for a moment, and then slowly exhale—for approximately six to eight counts. Repeat this process three times. Feel as if you are filling a jar with water, and then slowly emptying the jar. This practice will help still the mind.

Close your eyes. Now, breathe naturally, and simply. Sit quietly and focus on your breath, not forcing anything, just watching your breath as it comes in and goes out. If you like, you can even say to yourself ‘breathing in’ on the inhalation, and ‘breathing out’ on the exhalation. Continue this practice for as long as you feel comfortable. If you begin to focus on your mind and become carried away with thinking, that is perfectly okay—your mind is used to being the focus of your attention. Just come back to your breath. Simply breathing in and breathing out.

Again, if you find yourself being enmeshed in your thoughts, please do not beat yourself up, be thankful that you have become aware of being caught up in the thought process and then go back to focusing on the breath.

You can do this exercise with your eyes open, as well. You might want to try it while waiting in line at the bank or the super market, or during commercials while watching TV. You can even do this practice as a walking meditation, being mindful of your breath and your surroundings. Of course, please do not try this or any other meditation while driving.

Until next month, be mindful of your breath as much as possible. The breath is the life force. It is the key to finding the freedom and peace we were born to find. The TRUTH that we are all searching for is closer than you could ever imagine. As Lao Tzu said in the Tao te Ching, “The greatest journey starts with one step”. Consider your new mindfulness breathing exercise your first step to innate freedom, joy, and bliss absolute.

Warm Regards,
Bhakti Brophy

PS HAPPY GURUPURNIMA!!!!

tags: Jaibhakti, Meditation, Bhakti Brophy, Osho, Siddha Yoga

Mystical Union With My Beloved Guru: A Poem

Communion with Gurumayi.
Sweet Communion.

I have been doing a
"Silent Weekend Retreat" at home.
Reflecting on The Self.
Contemplating the fact that I see
God everywhere, in every thing that exists.
(Why me? How did I get to this state?
Many lifetimes of inner work?
I am blessed beyond belief! Amen.)
Feeling the love and joy of the World
Pouring through my veins
While sunbathing in the backyard.

Earlier in the day, a doe pranced up to me--
She stopped about twenty feet away.
We gazed at each other for several precious moments.
I instantaneously recognized the doe
as a manifestation of Gurumayi.
(Gurumayi has an affinity for deer.)

Several hours later,
While lying on my stomach
Basking in the rejuvenating rays of the sun,
An image of myself sitting across
from Gurumayi entered my mind.
I felt her presence sitting across from me--
Her in a light-golden silk robe,
Sitting with her bare feet on the floor.
We were at her ashram
In a vanilla ice cream colored room.
I sat silently,
Absorbing her presence.
I was basking in OUR energy-
Our Love.

I drifted out of the lovely darshan
And began wondering if I could ever
Get a privite sitting with Gurumayi.
I began contemplating writing
to her ashram with this inquiry in mind.
I got only so far as beginning to wonder
What I would write in this letter
When I realized that
I WAS in the presence of my Beloved Gurumayi.
She WAS sitting before me,
Blessing me with her darshan.

We sat across from each other--
Gazing into each other's eyes.
I was absorbing our energy--
While she sat reflecting my purity, my spirit,
my light, and my innate Love.
No need for answers;
There are no more questions to ask.

(Two years ago,
I had already thanked her for
Everything she has already given to me--
Mainly igniting the dorment
Light of God within.)

This current darshan was pure LOVE.
I contemplated bowing down and kissing her feet.
She made it clear that this was not necessary.
Gurumayi sat across from me
And she slowly became transparent--
I, too, dissolved.
Our energies merged.

Gurumayi blessed me with her darshan
In such a graceful way
As to bless me with my own darshan.
We are One.
We have merged.

Our love is beyond words.
Our love is the purest form possible--
Indescribable,
And all intoxicating.
Our love is the reflection
of the light of God within.

Om Namah Shivaya.
Sadgurunath Maharaj ki Jay!

My wish is that everyone, everywhere realize that the light of God (please substitute whatever name you give to the sustaining force of the universe) is right within your own heart. You possess the light of God. You are a manifestation of God. No matter how 'bad' or 'sinful' you think you are, the light within your own heart is ten-million times stronger than any transgression. No matter how much pain and suffering you are undergoing, remember that
there is a calmness underneath that 'storm'. Meditation is the key in finding that peaceful place within.


Life is good.
My love,

Bhakti


For guidance in understanding the mystical experience of 'darshan', here is the Wikipedia definition: Darshan is a Sanskrit and Hindu (also used to some extent in Urdu) term meaning sight (in the sense of an instance of seeing something or somebody), vision, apparition, or a glimpse. It is most commonly used for visions of the divine; that is, of a god or a very holy person or artifact. We could have a "darshan" of the deity in the temple (at the gross level) or have a "darshan" in that inward eye of a light or awareness (at a subtle plane).

Definition of Guru: One who dispels the darkness of ignornance. (On a personal note, I would like to personally add that a 'true' Guru is one who ultimately teaches you that what you are searching for is right inside yourself. I would be weary of any guru who teaches otherwise. My Guru (Gurumayi) has showed me the light within myself. I am forever grateful, as I believe the above poem reflects. )

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Gurumayi, poetry, darshan, Self-realization

The Light Within Us All Shines Brighter Than A Million Suns!

I just returned home from another week-long stay in the hospital; this time for pain management. I have to say that no matter how much physical pain and drama in general that I experience in my life, there is still a light at the core of my being that can never be extinguished. As Baba Muktananda says, knowing this light, the Self within, is the purpose of each and every human birth. Time and time again, I am lead back to this light within, and I feel so blessed. To me, this light is the sustaining power of the entire universe.

I thank God for leading me home, to the source within. A source, by the way, that is available to each and every one of us--right within our own hearts.

Love and all great blessings,
Bhakti

Click here for a brief article defining 'Self Realization'.

tags: Jaibhakti, Self-Realization, Swami Muktananda, spirituality

Just Read & Listening To...

How I Became Stupid

This is a very quick and quarky read; a bit contrived, albeit humorous. The book follows Antoine, a 25 year old intellectual Parisian, in his search for infinite bliss through attempts at dumbing down his brain. In the beginning of the book, I laughed aloud at some of his feeble attempts to stupify. By the middle of the book, How I Became Stupid turns into a brutal social commentary on the definition of happiness, and how people go about achieving that goal. I would not say this is the funniest thing I have read, nor would I call it a masterpiece (it has the potential of Confederacy of Dunces , yet falls way short of the mark), yet I did find some sort of comic relief. I'm just not quite sure at whose expense I was laughing. People who like Catcher In The Rye (which I do consider a classic) will most likely be amused.

BHAJANANANDI

Bhajananandi is one of my favorite new musical finds. The vocals, provided by Arjun of Arjun and Guardians (see below), are as haunting as they are beautiful and sincere. Bhajananandi's music is devotional chanting at it's very bare-bones/grass roots best, with vocals, harmonium, tablas, and the occasional acoustic guitar producing a mix of heavenly melodic bhajans. I would recommend Bhajananandi's Vol 2&3 CD to anyone who loves music, devotional or otherwise. People who like Krishna Das and Jai Uttal will appreciate Bhajananandi.

Arjun and Guardians

(Click on the above link for a terrific bio on Arjun and Guardians.)

tags: jaibhakti, bhajananandi, entertainment, Arjun and Guardians, How I Became Stupid

God Exists In Everything He is and Does: Check it Out For Yourself!

Take a look at the picture on your left and tell me that God doesn't exist. Look at the beautiful colors: the light bouncing off of the leaves. I took this picture earlier this morning. The tree's beauty caught my eye while I was walking home from the coffee shop so I went home, got my camera, and headed back to the park where it stands.

When I first caught sight of the tree, my heart skipped a beat. I'm not joking. I was totally overtaken and consumed by its beauty. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stood there staring at it. Then, I took a deep breath in and thanked God for giving me the gift of seeing this tree in all of its 'fall' glory.

Then, it occurred to me, "God exists in everything equally just as much as he exists in this tree." I began to think about the fact that every single atom on this Earth throbs with God's energy (or Prana, Holy Spirit, Life-Energy, etc.: whatever you call it). I began to look at things differently and, all of a sudden, everything began to shimmer like the radiance of the tree leaves. Just remembering that everything contains the 'life-force' energy, that same energy that beats our hearts, is refreshing and rejuvenating.

So, I ask you to see for yourself just how amazing this 'life-force' is. Look at anything in your immediate vicinity and just stare at it. Look it over. See what it's made of and what unique characteristics it possesses. Then, look at that object with the awareness that every single atom that makes up this piece of matter is throbbing with the 'life-force' energy. Every single atom. I guarantee that you will see that object in a new light. Think of every atom in your very own body as containing this life-force energy. This type of meditation reminds us that everything in the world is made of the same energy--albeit in different forms. The Hindus make a great analogy for this concept: you can have 100 pieces of different shaped gold jewelry, but in the end, its all just gold.

We are ALL gold. Every single sentient and insentient thing in the Universe is made up of the same energy; I call this energy God. Take a look at the leaves in the photograph below and then tell me that God doesn't exist.



All photos copyright 2005 D.L. Brophy