JAI BHAKTI™ BLOG: Raja Yoga: WITNESS EXPERIMENT

Last night, after meditation and while in a state of blissful expansion, I got on Twitter to see if I could engage with a fellow Tweeter who's political views are diametrically opposed to my own without losing my center, the state of expansiveness . His tweets are filled with hatred, and most of what he tweets as fact is simply not true.

Because I was in a state of expansion, I was able to Witness what I was doing while I was doing it. In other words, I wasn't merely reacting to this man's hate-filled tweets, I was watching my every move: metacognition, thinking about my thinking. (I've written about metacognitin many times in the past, please scroll through the archives for more info.)

The reason I did this experiment was because I normally get heated and quite charged when dealing with this kind of person--someone who spews hatred and lies regarding politics and offers no positive solutions.

It bothers me that people buy into so much of the propaganda we call the news. I'm mystified that people cannot intuitively tell right from wrong. (One of the most difficult things to navigate when one is "awake" is recognizing and remembering that others are still bound; compassion is key. After all, ignorance literally means "not knowing".)

My experiment was all about seeing if I could tweet about politics without  losing the state of expansion and, also, discover how defending my view of U.S. politics affects my mood.

What I discovered was that it was totally futile, and perhaps self righteous--even though the tweets were from my heart!-- to try and talk sense into this man. His tweets do affect my livelihood in a roundabout way because he's against helping the sick and elderly, however, everyone is entitled to his or her opinions. 

I also discovered that replying to this man's tweets slowly morphed my state of expansiveness into a state of constriction: from liberation back to Maya, from freedom to the feeling of being stuck.

One of the most important things I learned was 
that countering this man's political views on my Twitter feed offered nothing enlightening to my readers. How could it if the tweets were being offered from a state of constriction? I wasn't so much stating my opinions as I was countering this man's, and that's why I began to lose my center. My reaction to his tweets created the conflict. It's none of my business what he thinks.

Ultimately, I learned that I don't lose my center when discussing politics, but when I get defensive and feel a need to counter with my own point of view. This simply creates more drama, and after 26 years of studying and practicing on the spiritual path, that's the last  thing I'm chasing!

My conclusion to this experiment: 

The only way I can affect a change in this world is to keep an eye on my mood and do whatever needs to be done to cultivate the state of expansiveness.

I will continue to offer wisdom that creates a state of peace and bliss. That's one thing I can do from the confines of my room (virtually bedridden due to spinal injury and spinal diseases).

It is my wish and prayer that everyone, everywhere, experience this level of satchittananda (existence, consciousness, and bliss absolute) in his or her lifetime.

Hari Om Tat Sat!


©2014 DL Bhakti Brophy

VASHISTA'S YOGA: Understanding the Mind

In preparation for a teleseminar I'm taking this evening*, I've spent the month of February studying one of my favorite yogic texts-- VASHISTA'S YOGA (aka YOGA VASHISTA).

I'm one of those bookworms who takes notes in the margins, underlines passages that speak to me, writes my favorite quotes, and their respective page numbers, on the inside cover of the book, the title page, and anywhere else there is free space. My favorite books have dog eared pages and Post-It Notes and bookmarks in enough places to render them useless.

Here's a gem of wisdom I underlined in VASHISTA'S YOGA last year:

Thought is the mind: there is no distinction between the two.

I love this quote. It's so succinct and eloquent in its Truth. It's one of those truths that is so easy to forget. I'm thinking I'd like to have it tattooed on my inner eyelids so I will see it every time I close my eyes.

Or I could just write it on a Post-It Note and stick it on the wall next to my bed. And stick one on my mirror. One on my door. One on my TV. One on my cat...

This quote is one that will certainly free you if you contemplate it daily. VASHISTA'S YOGA is filled with gems like this. 

Here's looking forward to a wonderful three week immersion into VASHISTA'S YOGA, and inquiry into the mind!

Blessings,
Bhakti



*The teleseminar is being taught by my dear friend Sally Kempton. Please visit www.SallyKempton.com for more information.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DEAR ONES!

May the peace of the Heart

Shower blessings upon you

As we blanket the world

With our Divine Love.


Om Shánti!




So much Love,
Bhakti




©2014 DL Bhakti Brophy
All Rights reserved

THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME HOME (2005)

ॐ नमः शिवाय 

FOR YOU

Thank you for calling me home...

My beloved.

Your warmth, Your love, Your grace

Carry me beyond the mind,

Beyond the body,

Beyond the pain.

You heal me with Your loving Shakti--

After a while, I surrender.

You uphold me,

You cleanse me;

I sway to the rhythm of Your tender caress.

An ocean of nectar envelops me--

A fireball of grace

Rejuvenates me.

Your love transforms me

Until I no longer exist;

Until there is nothing

But Your love.

Thank You for calling me home.


-- Bhakti Brophy 
    जय भक्ति ™





© 12/29/2005 DL Bhakti Brophy
All Rights Reserved
(Originally published in 2005, JaiBhakti™, जय भक्ति ™)

Sketches of My Sweet Heart

While reading a book titled The Middle Way, by Lou Marinoff, I was pleasantly introduced to the "Golden Ratio (Golden Mean)". This gem of aesthetic beauty as revealed in scientific, mathematical, and natural theory is mindblowing; so much so that it inspired me to start sketching again as a means of art therapy.

In the past, I used a circle as the basis of my subconscious Crayola rants, now I am dissecting the Golden Ratio so as to create it from scratch. The following sketch is my first attempt at consciously using the Golden Ratio in abstract art.

While making this sketch I had three things in mind: 1) the Golden Ratio; 2) my mood at the time I was sketching; and 3) the color of the mood. (Since as far back as I can recall I have seen energetic, metaphysical things in terms of colors. It wasn't until I was in my mid-thirties that I learned this was a spiritual gift: the gift of seeing auras.)

Eventually, this sketch will be painted with water colors. Even though my mood will be different when I do the actual painting, I have the color scheme locked into my memory.

My friend Yentyl asked me to publish the process of my abstract art therapy work on JAIBHAKTI. I have never taken art therapy classes, but I have learned that putting pencil (or crayon or marker) on paper and just letting the flow of my mood come out through my arm movements truly does help express emotions that are stuck, creating energy blockages (i.e. 'disease'). I was going through a profound, intense period of unrelenting physical pain that was starting to affect my mental state when I created the following piece. It is incredibly stark and simplistic, yet it moved me out of my lurking depression. The blue circle represents the Truth of my (our) reality: that which is unchanging, stainless, and eternally blissful. The black crayon represents the chaos/drama of life that goes on outside this eternal Truth within the very core of each of our beings. This is what we, as human beings, have to work.

With regard to the Golden Ratio, it was fascinating for me to look at my most successful commercial and fine art photographs and realize that I executed the Golden Ratio without even knowing it. Since I have learned about this sacred geometry, I can’t help but find the Golden Ratio everywhere.

IMAGE TO BE PUBLISHED SHORTLY!

So much Love!
Bhakti

@jaibhakti
@BhaktiBrophy

SHANKARACHARYA: THE VEDANTA SUTRAS

 "Mâyâ, under the guidance of the Lord*, modifies itself by a progressive evolution into all the individual existences (bheda), distinguished by special names and forms, of which the world consists; from it there spring in due succession the different material elements and the whole bodily apparatus belonging to sentient Beings. In all those apparently, individual forms of existence the one indivisible Brahman is present, but, owing to the particular adjuncts into which Mâyâ has specialised itself, it appears to be broken up—it is broken up, as it were—into a multiplicity, of intellectual or sentient principles, the so-called jîvas (individual or personal souls). What is real in each jîva is only the universal Brahman itself; the whole aggregate of individualising bodily organs and mental functions, which in our ordinary experience separate and distinguish one jîva from another, is the offspring of Mâyâ and as such unreal."

~ SHANKARACHARYA
Rendering of the Vedanta Sutras


* (In this context "Lord" is Brahman.  --Bhakti)



Source: Gutenberg.org

BHAKTI BROPHY QUOTE No. 7.7 COMPASSION

Compassion is the only answer because Love is truly all that exists under the veil of Maya--Maya itself being a manifestation of the One.


©2014

Out My Window

"I saw the crescent; you saw the whole of the moon."

What song are these lyrics from?

tags: Jaibhakti, moon photography, moon

FREEDOM

Mountain Way, 2 minutes from my house. The sky limitless.

.

Windowpane.

A splash of fall.

Carmi, a fellow blogger of WrittenInc fame, is correct in stating that regardless of the hiccups (understatement) in our countries' democratic processes, there is no better place to live than a democratic, FREE society. Kudos to Carmi for bringing up that point. It is a point well taken. Please visit Carmi for insightful essays and beautiful photographs of his homeland, Canada.

While you're surfing the blogosphere, do be sure to check out this jewel in the mud--APersonal Tao-- in which a kind Taoist named Casey guides us through the beauty of life, one poem and wise thought at a time.

Big props to Kitty Von Kitty for the eternal smile she continually offers to my face and heart:

WHICH PHOTO IS YOUR FAVORITE? WHY?

Enjoy your day,

Love,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti,Bhakti Brophy, photography, freedom, democracy, spiritualityBrophy, tao, taoism

ANOTHER SURGERY...

On October 12th, at 7:30 AM, I will be undergoing another spinal surgery; this time to try to 'make some space' around the nerve roots in order to alleviate some of the pain I have been living with for the past 13 months. I am SO looking forward to this surgery (you know you're in pain when you are actually looking forward to having your neck sliced open!). I can't wait--bring on the scalpal, boys!

Lest I jest, what I am looking forward to is being able to wake up in the morning without my arm feeling like I have a hot butcher knife sticking out of it (the stabbing feeling in my arm is unbelievable. It truly is beyond words.). The feeling in my upper left arm is akin to a tattoo needle buzzing away day-in-and-day-out. Yes, the last time I got a tattoo the tattoo artist was surprised that I didn't flinch once. I told him, "I live with this kind of pain every moment of my life--except when I'm in deep sleep or in deep meditation."

My energy levels have been really low for the past month: my adrenal hormones are actually running low. It's not difficult to image why, is it? Dealing with this level of pain for 13 months straight is bound to wear a person out; and, believe me, it has. I actually lost my temper in a HUGE way last week--but I'll save that for another post. Right now my only interest is in focusing on getting my energy levels back up. This takes a good deal of inner energy work; my background in Chi-Kung is proving fruitful. But more than that, I also need the aide of others. I am currently looking into finding a Pranayama breath/energy healer who is actually able to transmit healing energy.

Why am I telling you this? Hey--because I also need YOU! Yes--once again, I would like to ask you to please pray for me. Even if you aren't given to prayer, perhaps you could take a moment and just contemplate the fact that I am asking for healing energies from the universe--from you! And then eat a bar of chocolate in my honor (Yes! Dark chocolate scores higher points in the 'I'm not prayin' but I'll eat chocolate for ya' department!).

In closing, I would like to say that I really do feel your prayers, so please keep them coming. And, if you would be so kind, please pray that my energy supply is replenished a.s.a.p..

Thank you!
Until next time,
Love and All Great Blessings to you all,
Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, spinal surgery, cats, cat photography, prayers, spirituality,

Bad Hair Day #57

What happens when Bhakti pulls a rubber band ponytail out of her hair after sitting mobile on the Lazy Boy while watching four consecutive episodes of 24?

You guessed it: Bad Hair Day #57

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, bad hair day, humor

PUBLIC NOTICE: TODAY I MET A SOUL...

Hello friends. This is a notification to let you know that I will be offline throughout the month of August. I am currently doing tremendous inner work, and I need some quiet time (which would seem incredibly confusing to anyone who knows that I have spent MOST of the past year in the house, by myself! However, I spent that time trying to get better...you know, pushing the river. Now it is time to live in the present and see what is really going on.) I leave you with a poem that my great friend Sadiq and I wrote last week.

Be well, and enjoy your summer (or winter, depending on which hemisphere you live in ).

Blessings,
Bhakti

Today i Met a Soul™…

1 Today i met a soul,
whose light showered my path
even from the other side of the world
2 Today my love of Self as One
became realized as a love of One
Oneness without boundary3 Today i spoke with a soul,
the voice came rushing
right into my heart
and melted my whole existence
4 Today, a faraway stranger
rekindled my love for the knowledge
that nothing is neither near nor far
here nor there
just is.
5 one heart sang in tune with another.
who said, we are far?
6 The Light of God
raining upon two souls
focusing their vision of Oneness into Reality
7 i know i have been given this blessed touch
to reunite with a close soul, i knew already
long back in some unknown lives.
8 ‘Just about giving up sharing my mysticism
for fear of being deemed MAD
in an outward looking world
9 So, we unfolded our wings of love eternal
embracing to unite the two souls
and looked at the Glorious Light,
the Source from where all souls descend.
10 And the ‘who’, ‘what’, ‘where’, and ‘why’ disappeared
into the ether
and all that was left was
nothing
but
Light.© July 18, 2006, Bhakti Brophy and Sadiq Alam

(Odd numbered verses written by Sadiq, even numbered verses written by Bhakti.)


tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Inspirations and Creative Thoughs, Bhakti Brophy, Divine Love

The Madness of the Mystics!!! Hurray for OSHO!!!

Below is an excerpt from some words spoken by Osho:

"It is better to be mad in a divine way
than to be sane in a human way."

---
You can check out the entire quote at Inspirations and Creative Thoughts, which is a powerfully moving blog written by my fellow mystically mad friend, Sadiq.

Enjoy!
Much Love,
Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Osho, Inspiration and Creative Thoughts, Oneness, Divine Love, Bhakti+Brophy

The Mind Can Free Us or Enslave Us: The Choice is Yours!

“When will you live today?” is one of my favorite quotes. I have it written on the wall in the basement, right next to my drum set because I used to play the drums when I was trying to escape feelings like anger, anxiety, fear, etc. The quote reminded me that every moment I spent being angry, anxious, or fearful, I lost the precious moments of the day at hand. This quote reminds me that if I spend my time being upset about the past, or worrying about the future, then I am NOT living today. I am not living in the present moment.

Many of us have a million and one diversions that keep us from dealing with our strong emotions and negate our ability to live in the present moment. I live with chronic pain due to an incurable spinal disease. Yesterday was a particularly bad day—I could not handle the pain level and it made me intensely angry and mentally stressed. Instead of doing a meditation practice that I knew would dissolve the energy of the strong emotions, I walked up to the ice cream shop and got a double dip of coffee ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. At the time, this seemed like a much easier way of pacifying the horrible day I was having than doing a simple meditation practice. On my way home from the ice cream shop, I sat upon the steps of my local church and prayed for help with the current situation. As I truly allowed myself to feel and experience the mental pain and anguish caused by the physical pain, I cried, and the intense emotions dissipated. The rest of the day was pleasant, and I was able to interact with others—and myself-- more lovingly. I had reconnected with the peace within. The key to finding this peace is living in the present moment. The only place where peace truly exists is in the present moment. Moreover, the only way to connect with the present moment is through mindfulness meditation.

Most people cringe when I mention the word ‘meditation’. They get this look of fear on their face, tell me they have tried to meditate once or twice before, and inevitably say things like:

“I couldn’t stop thinking.”

“My mind was driving me crazy. There was no peace anywhere to be found. My mind was thinking more than usual!”


“All I could hear was my heartbeat and it nearly drove me insane. Plus, I kept thinking the same thought repeatedly.”

“I gave up trying to meditate because I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking. I’m just not cut out for it.”


Friends, allow me to clarify one thing with regard to the mind: the mind is not the enemy. It is the innate function of the mind to think, reason, acquire and apply knowledge. Therefore, when sitting for meditation, the key is not to stop the mind from doing its job, but to ‘Witness’ the mind. The key thing to remember is that the beginner’s goal in meditation is to watch the thoughts that arise in your mind. Simply be aware of the thoughts as they arise and disappear, and do not get ensnared by their drama. Just because you have a thought does not mean that you have to react to it. It is the mind’s job to think, so no matter what, unless you give it some downtime (i.e. meditation) and give it the space to turn in on itself, it will just keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

I know from experience that this may not be the easiest concept to grasp. The thought of ‘not being attached to thoughts’ and merely ‘witnessing’ them may seem rather odd, or even impossible. Thoughts come and go; it is as simple as that. As the Buddhists say, just think of them as clouds passing by in the sky. Alternatively, you can think of them like this: imagine that you have just poured yourself a tall glass of seltzer. You stare at the glass and watch as the bubbles at the bottom of the glass rise up, reach the top, hang out there for awhile, and then—POP—they’re gone. This is the way of thoughts: they are pulsations of energy that come and go.

When I say that the mind is not the enemy, I must make one thing clear. If you stay attached to your thoughts 24 hours a day, then the mind does enslave you. You have become a slave to your thoughts. However, if you learn some mindfulness techniques to help you begin a simple meditation practice, you will find that your mind is the vehicle that sets you free. You need your mind for Self-Realization. Your mind takes you to the Truth (peace) within yourself. Your mind is always seeking for something, always attaching itself to some sensory desire. As Osho says in his Book of Secrets, “The mind has to be turned from seeking to nonseeking.” This is done through meditation. The mind stops reacting to the world outside and begins to explore the incredible world within.

In future columns, I will be teaching you mindfulness techniques, simple meditation techniques, as well as sharing with you some important life lessons I have learned on my spiritual journey. For now, I would like to share with you the most simple meditation technique that you can do anywhere.

Find a comfortable position, perhaps sitting cross-legged on the floor with your back straight and your knees supported, or sitting upright on a chair with your feet hip width apart and your arms comfortably positioned at your side. Now, take a deep breath. While breathing in, count to four-- fill your entire lungs with air. Hold the air inside the lungs for a moment, and then slowly exhale—for approximately six to eight counts. Repeat this process three times. Feel as if you are filling a jar with water, and then slowly emptying the jar. This practice will help still the mind.

Close your eyes. Now, breathe naturally, and simply. Sit quietly and focus on your breath, not forcing anything, just watching your breath as it comes in and goes out. If you like, you can even say to yourself ‘breathing in’ on the inhalation, and ‘breathing out’ on the exhalation. Continue this practice for as long as you feel comfortable. If you begin to focus on your mind and become carried away with thinking, that is perfectly okay—your mind is used to being the focus of your attention. Just come back to your breath. Simply breathing in and breathing out.

Again, if you find yourself being enmeshed in your thoughts, please do not beat yourself up, be thankful that you have become aware of being caught up in the thought process and then go back to focusing on the breath.

You can do this exercise with your eyes open, as well. You might want to try it while waiting in line at the bank or the super market, or during commercials while watching TV. You can even do this practice as a walking meditation, being mindful of your breath and your surroundings. Of course, please do not try this or any other meditation while driving.

Until next month, be mindful of your breath as much as possible. The breath is the life force. It is the key to finding the freedom and peace we were born to find. The TRUTH that we are all searching for is closer than you could ever imagine. As Lao Tzu said in the Tao te Ching, “The greatest journey starts with one step”. Consider your new mindfulness breathing exercise your first step to innate freedom, joy, and bliss absolute.

Warm Regards,
Bhakti Brophy

PS HAPPY GURUPURNIMA!!!!

tags: Jaibhakti, Meditation, Bhakti Brophy, Osho, Siddha Yoga

Mystical Union With My Beloved Guru: A Poem

Communion with Gurumayi.
Sweet Communion.

I have been doing a
"Silent Weekend Retreat" at home.
Reflecting on The Self.
Contemplating the fact that I see
God everywhere, in every thing that exists.
(Why me? How did I get to this state?
Many lifetimes of inner work?
I am blessed beyond belief! Amen.)
Feeling the love and joy of the World
Pouring through my veins
While sunbathing in the backyard.

Earlier in the day, a doe pranced up to me--
She stopped about twenty feet away.
We gazed at each other for several precious moments.
I instantaneously recognized the doe
as a manifestation of Gurumayi.
(Gurumayi has an affinity for deer.)

Several hours later,
While lying on my stomach
Basking in the rejuvenating rays of the sun,
An image of myself sitting across
from Gurumayi entered my mind.
I felt her presence sitting across from me--
Her in a light-golden silk robe,
Sitting with her bare feet on the floor.
We were at her ashram
In a vanilla ice cream colored room.
I sat silently,
Absorbing her presence.
I was basking in OUR energy-
Our Love.

I drifted out of the lovely darshan
And began wondering if I could ever
Get a privite sitting with Gurumayi.
I began contemplating writing
to her ashram with this inquiry in mind.
I got only so far as beginning to wonder
What I would write in this letter
When I realized that
I WAS in the presence of my Beloved Gurumayi.
She WAS sitting before me,
Blessing me with her darshan.

We sat across from each other--
Gazing into each other's eyes.
I was absorbing our energy--
While she sat reflecting my purity, my spirit,
my light, and my innate Love.
No need for answers;
There are no more questions to ask.

(Two years ago,
I had already thanked her for
Everything she has already given to me--
Mainly igniting the dorment
Light of God within.)

This current darshan was pure LOVE.
I contemplated bowing down and kissing her feet.
She made it clear that this was not necessary.
Gurumayi sat across from me
And she slowly became transparent--
I, too, dissolved.
Our energies merged.

Gurumayi blessed me with her darshan
In such a graceful way
As to bless me with my own darshan.
We are One.
We have merged.

Our love is beyond words.
Our love is the purest form possible--
Indescribable,
And all intoxicating.
Our love is the reflection
of the light of God within.

Om Namah Shivaya.
Sadgurunath Maharaj ki Jay!

My wish is that everyone, everywhere realize that the light of God (please substitute whatever name you give to the sustaining force of the universe) is right within your own heart. You possess the light of God. You are a manifestation of God. No matter how 'bad' or 'sinful' you think you are, the light within your own heart is ten-million times stronger than any transgression. No matter how much pain and suffering you are undergoing, remember that
there is a calmness underneath that 'storm'. Meditation is the key in finding that peaceful place within.


Life is good.
My love,

Bhakti


For guidance in understanding the mystical experience of 'darshan', here is the Wikipedia definition: Darshan is a Sanskrit and Hindu (also used to some extent in Urdu) term meaning sight (in the sense of an instance of seeing something or somebody), vision, apparition, or a glimpse. It is most commonly used for visions of the divine; that is, of a god or a very holy person or artifact. We could have a "darshan" of the deity in the temple (at the gross level) or have a "darshan" in that inward eye of a light or awareness (at a subtle plane).

Definition of Guru: One who dispels the darkness of ignornance. (On a personal note, I would like to personally add that a 'true' Guru is one who ultimately teaches you that what you are searching for is right inside yourself. I would be weary of any guru who teaches otherwise. My Guru (Gurumayi) has showed me the light within myself. I am forever grateful, as I believe the above poem reflects. )

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Gurumayi, poetry, darshan, Self-realization

Who Are You?

In the last three weeks I have gone through two visits to the Emergency Room, a Cat Scan, an abdominal Ultrasound, and an Endoscopy (of my upper digestive system). I had such severe stomach spasms every single time I ate ANYTHING that, at times, my mother had to place ice on my back--at my request--while I sat crouched over in a fetal position crying, writhing in pain, and riffling off every single curse word I ever heard. I tried everything possible to find a comfortable position; there wasn't one. Even after all of these tests, and the visits to the ER (where they pumped me full of morphine and told me to take Percocet for the stomach pain), my doctors were still dumb-founded as to what was causing the severe pain and my inability to eat anything without the said pain. My gastroenterologist (whom I went to for the first time two weeks ago) kept saying that maybe the pain and spasms were from one of the medications that I am on for my spinal disease. I did my own research. I think he was right.

For the past 6 weeks or so, I have been taking a prescription drug that is supposed to ease nerve pain. The side effects that I found on WebMD lists severe stomach cramps (as well as a whole other host of side effects that I have but do not wish to share with the world on this blog). I have since been weened off of the drug, and I already notice that one of the most annoying side effects has disappeared.

So, for now, my life is fueled by Ensure and frozen yogurt. That's all I can eat without stomach spasms. I am hoping that by the time this prescription drug is fully out of my system that I will be back to normal and able to focus on getting my spinal disease under control (oh yes, I am still battling the chronic pain disease known as radiculopathy--remember that??).

The point of this post is not, as one might think, to complain, to ask for sympathy, or to depress my lovely readers. Here's what I am offering you today:
The severity of the pain that I experienced during the stomach spasms (and whatever else was going on) was beyond any amount of pain that I could ever imagine (and let's all remember that I have had over 12 surgeries and procedures in my life. In other words, I know pain). The beauty of all of this pain is that I was forced to enjoy the several hours of peace that I had in between the bouts of stomach induced pain. I made a conscious effort to find things to do that I loved during these several hours every day. As anyone who reads this blog religiously knows, I always tend to find the silver lining, but I'm talking about even more than that. I've learned so much more about life during these past three weeks than I ever imagined I could learn. I thought I had a pretty solid grasp of what happiness was, and how it is cultivated. These past three weeks literally taught me, first hand, that happiness lies nowhere else but within ourselves. That sounds elementary--and we've all heard it before, but believe me, when you are faced with chronic neck and arm pain and then, on top of that, are made to experience stomach pains that have you crying like a baby and writhing around on the floor, you are forced to face the reality that happiness must be cultivated from within. And, moreover, it doesn't take much at all to be happy. I'm talking about the purest form of happiness.

I'm not quite sure if I can put into words what I am trying to convey, because it was literally a very spiritual (personal) experience, and I'm not sure if anything so close to the Truth, as it were, can be put into words. But I can guarantee you that I am not the same person I was three weeks ago. I am stronger. I have more confindence. My faith has always been strong, but my confidence is bubbling over.

My wish is to share my gifts with the world (i.e. teaching meditation, working with gay youth, teaching writing, etc.). Going through such physical pain did something to me, and, like I've said before, I have been through my share of physical pain. The last three weeks have been unbelievably difficult. But I am stronger now.

Thank you for reading this long post.
(Please note: I have not yet had the chance to proof-read what I have written, so please excuse any typos, etc.)

With love,
Bhakti

PEACE ON EARTH

This doe is resting comfortably while her mother

hides herself a short distance away.

This photo was taken in my

Grandmother's backyard.

Every other day I throw peanuts out for the squirrels.

This little guy LOVES peanuts. I watched

him eat about 4 in a row!

In this photo you can see that the little rascal

has noticed my presence behind the

front window.

Check out the peanut he's guarding under his foot!!

No matter what hand I'm playing in life (and right now it seems to be the 'illness' card), I am still blessed enough to search out the magically wondrous beauty of the world. I love these two pictures, and I am thankful that I was able to see the beauty of these animals.
Enough about me, how are YOU all doing? Do tell!!!
Love,
Bhakti
tags:Jaibhakti, doe, deer, squirrel

Today's Lesson in Zen

"Life is like getting into a boat that is just about to set sail and sink."

-Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

We all know that life is impermanent: the mere fact that we are born means we are going to die. Why is it, then, that we spend most of our lives in a struggle? Why can't we embrace the fact that this life--no matter what our current circumstances--is a gift? I mean, think about it: we all hear stories about people who are told that they only have three months to live so they decide to do everything that they've ever wanted to do, and they make amends with their enemies, etcetra, etcetra. We're all going to die. Just because we haven't been given a certain date and time doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. Why do we have to wait until the doctor says our time is up to really start to live?

Every time we breath out there is no guarantee that we will take another in-breath; doesn't that just solidify the fact that every in-breath is an absolute gift?

Life is precious, and short, and precious.

These are just my thoughts for the day. :)

Blessings,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Zen, spirituality, Shunyru Suzuki Roshi

BHAKTI IS BACK IN THE BLOGOSPHERE!!!!

LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY BEAUTIFUL MEDUSA TREE ROOTS!!!
BLASPHEMY!!!
THOSE DARN PUBLIC SERVICE ENERGY DOO-HICKY-WACKY PEOPLE!
NO RESPECT!




In other news, I just wanted to let you know that I've been crazy busy with doctor appointments up the wazoo! That's why I haven't been in touch lately. I switched doctors, and it appears to me that my new pain management doctor has me on the right track. Less meds, more meditation and acupuncture. We'll see what happens. I'm still in pain, but at least I have a better frame of mind and my new doctor gives me more hope. Chronic pain is a very weird experience; especially for someone like me who so easily find beauty in everything. I think I've met my match. How to find beauty in chronic pain? Recognizing chronic pain as just another manifestation of the great one, I suppose.

Thank GOD I have an incredible family, and great friends!

In some other news, I had to hand in my letter of resignation to the Board of Education that I worked for (I was on medical leave all year). It looks like I won't be able to go back in the beginning of the next school year, either. Oh well. I know something great is going to come out of all of this. I just have too much grace in my life for it not to be so!

In honor of my resignation--which I'll admit, did depress me for a couple of weeks. I mean, I LOVE teaching!!!--please say a prayer for me. If you're not into praying, then simply eat some chocolate in my honor.

In honor of the health of my body, I am currently on a no wheat, no dairy, no caffeine diet. That means no coffee, no chocolate. Can you believe it? Bhakti is NOT eating chocolate! I really don't miss the chocolate. I miss things like muffins and the occassional ice cream cone. That kind of stuff. Also, I miss knoshing on cookies and other junk food. Oh well, my body will thank me in a little while!!

Okay--I've said enough. Now it's YOUR turn. Please tell me what you 've been up to or at least tell me a good joke!

Thanks,
Much love,
Bhakti

MOONLIGHT (Beethoven)

"Moonlight Over Yonder"

tags: Jaibhakti, photography

copyright 2006 D.L.Brophy