Sketches of My Sweet Heart

While reading a book titled The Middle Way, by Lou Marinoff, I was pleasantly introduced to the "Golden Ratio (Golden Mean)". This gem of aesthetic beauty as revealed in scientific, mathematical, and natural theory is mindblowing; so much so that it inspired me to start sketching again as a means of art therapy.

In the past, I used a circle as the basis of my subconscious Crayola rants, now I am dissecting the Golden Ratio so as to create it from scratch. The following sketch is my first attempt at consciously using the Golden Ratio in abstract art.

While making this sketch I had three things in mind: 1) the Golden Ratio; 2) my mood at the time I was sketching; and 3) the color of the mood. (Since as far back as I can recall I have seen energetic, metaphysical things in terms of colors. It wasn't until I was in my mid-thirties that I learned this was a spiritual gift: the gift of seeing auras.)

Eventually, this sketch will be painted with water colors. Even though my mood will be different when I do the actual painting, I have the color scheme locked into my memory.

My friend Yentyl asked me to publish the process of my abstract art therapy work on JAIBHAKTI. I have never taken art therapy classes, but I have learned that putting pencil (or crayon or marker) on paper and just letting the flow of my mood come out through my arm movements truly does help express emotions that are stuck, creating energy blockages (i.e. 'disease'). I was going through a profound, intense period of unrelenting physical pain that was starting to affect my mental state when I created the following piece. It is incredibly stark and simplistic, yet it moved me out of my lurking depression. The blue circle represents the Truth of my (our) reality: that which is unchanging, stainless, and eternally blissful. The black crayon represents the chaos/drama of life that goes on outside this eternal Truth within the very core of each of our beings. This is what we, as human beings, have to work.

With regard to the Golden Ratio, it was fascinating for me to look at my most successful commercial and fine art photographs and realize that I executed the Golden Ratio without even knowing it. Since I have learned about this sacred geometry, I can’t help but find the Golden Ratio everywhere.

IMAGE TO BE PUBLISHED SHORTLY!

So much Love!
Bhakti

@jaibhakti
@BhaktiBrophy

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE MOON PHOTO!

On the evening of November 4, I took photos of the spectacular moon. Which one is your favorite?

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(4)

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(Hey Bill--I got the tripod out just for you!)

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, moon photography, moon, photography, night photography

FREEDOM

Mountain Way, 2 minutes from my house. The sky limitless.

.

Windowpane.

A splash of fall.

Carmi, a fellow blogger of WrittenInc fame, is correct in stating that regardless of the hiccups (understatement) in our countries' democratic processes, there is no better place to live than a democratic, FREE society. Kudos to Carmi for bringing up that point. It is a point well taken. Please visit Carmi for insightful essays and beautiful photographs of his homeland, Canada.

While you're surfing the blogosphere, do be sure to check out this jewel in the mud--APersonal Tao-- in which a kind Taoist named Casey guides us through the beauty of life, one poem and wise thought at a time.

Big props to Kitty Von Kitty for the eternal smile she continually offers to my face and heart:

WHICH PHOTO IS YOUR FAVORITE? WHY?

Enjoy your day,

Love,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti,Bhakti Brophy, photography, freedom, democracy, spiritualityBrophy, tao, taoism

ANOTHER SURGERY...

On October 12th, at 7:30 AM, I will be undergoing another spinal surgery; this time to try to 'make some space' around the nerve roots in order to alleviate some of the pain I have been living with for the past 13 months. I am SO looking forward to this surgery (you know you're in pain when you are actually looking forward to having your neck sliced open!). I can't wait--bring on the scalpal, boys!

Lest I jest, what I am looking forward to is being able to wake up in the morning without my arm feeling like I have a hot butcher knife sticking out of it (the stabbing feeling in my arm is unbelievable. It truly is beyond words.). The feeling in my upper left arm is akin to a tattoo needle buzzing away day-in-and-day-out. Yes, the last time I got a tattoo the tattoo artist was surprised that I didn't flinch once. I told him, "I live with this kind of pain every moment of my life--except when I'm in deep sleep or in deep meditation."

My energy levels have been really low for the past month: my adrenal hormones are actually running low. It's not difficult to image why, is it? Dealing with this level of pain for 13 months straight is bound to wear a person out; and, believe me, it has. I actually lost my temper in a HUGE way last week--but I'll save that for another post. Right now my only interest is in focusing on getting my energy levels back up. This takes a good deal of inner energy work; my background in Chi-Kung is proving fruitful. But more than that, I also need the aide of others. I am currently looking into finding a Pranayama breath/energy healer who is actually able to transmit healing energy.

Why am I telling you this? Hey--because I also need YOU! Yes--once again, I would like to ask you to please pray for me. Even if you aren't given to prayer, perhaps you could take a moment and just contemplate the fact that I am asking for healing energies from the universe--from you! And then eat a bar of chocolate in my honor (Yes! Dark chocolate scores higher points in the 'I'm not prayin' but I'll eat chocolate for ya' department!).

In closing, I would like to say that I really do feel your prayers, so please keep them coming. And, if you would be so kind, please pray that my energy supply is replenished a.s.a.p..

Thank you!
Until next time,
Love and All Great Blessings to you all,
Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, spinal surgery, cats, cat photography, prayers, spirituality,

Bad Hair Day #57

What happens when Bhakti pulls a rubber band ponytail out of her hair after sitting mobile on the Lazy Boy while watching four consecutive episodes of 24?

You guessed it: Bad Hair Day #57

tags: Jaibhakti, Bhakti Brophy, bad hair day, humor

PUBLIC NOTICE: TODAY I MET A SOUL...

Hello friends. This is a notification to let you know that I will be offline throughout the month of August. I am currently doing tremendous inner work, and I need some quiet time (which would seem incredibly confusing to anyone who knows that I have spent MOST of the past year in the house, by myself! However, I spent that time trying to get better...you know, pushing the river. Now it is time to live in the present and see what is really going on.) I leave you with a poem that my great friend Sadiq and I wrote last week.

Be well, and enjoy your summer (or winter, depending on which hemisphere you live in ).

Blessings,
Bhakti

Today i Met a Soul™…

1 Today i met a soul,
whose light showered my path
even from the other side of the world
2 Today my love of Self as One
became realized as a love of One
Oneness without boundary3 Today i spoke with a soul,
the voice came rushing
right into my heart
and melted my whole existence
4 Today, a faraway stranger
rekindled my love for the knowledge
that nothing is neither near nor far
here nor there
just is.
5 one heart sang in tune with another.
who said, we are far?
6 The Light of God
raining upon two souls
focusing their vision of Oneness into Reality
7 i know i have been given this blessed touch
to reunite with a close soul, i knew already
long back in some unknown lives.
8 ‘Just about giving up sharing my mysticism
for fear of being deemed MAD
in an outward looking world
9 So, we unfolded our wings of love eternal
embracing to unite the two souls
and looked at the Glorious Light,
the Source from where all souls descend.
10 And the ‘who’, ‘what’, ‘where’, and ‘why’ disappeared
into the ether
and all that was left was
nothing
but
Light.© July 18, 2006, Bhakti Brophy and Sadiq Alam

(Odd numbered verses written by Sadiq, even numbered verses written by Bhakti.)


tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Inspirations and Creative Thoughs, Bhakti Brophy, Divine Love

The Madness of the Mystics!!! Hurray for OSHO!!!

Below is an excerpt from some words spoken by Osho:

"It is better to be mad in a divine way
than to be sane in a human way."

---
You can check out the entire quote at Inspirations and Creative Thoughts, which is a powerfully moving blog written by my fellow mystically mad friend, Sadiq.

Enjoy!
Much Love,
Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Osho, Inspiration and Creative Thoughts, Oneness, Divine Love, Bhakti+Brophy

The Mind Can Free Us or Enslave Us: The Choice is Yours!

“When will you live today?” is one of my favorite quotes. I have it written on the wall in the basement, right next to my drum set because I used to play the drums when I was trying to escape feelings like anger, anxiety, fear, etc. The quote reminded me that every moment I spent being angry, anxious, or fearful, I lost the precious moments of the day at hand. This quote reminds me that if I spend my time being upset about the past, or worrying about the future, then I am NOT living today. I am not living in the present moment.

Many of us have a million and one diversions that keep us from dealing with our strong emotions and negate our ability to live in the present moment. I live with chronic pain due to an incurable spinal disease. Yesterday was a particularly bad day—I could not handle the pain level and it made me intensely angry and mentally stressed. Instead of doing a meditation practice that I knew would dissolve the energy of the strong emotions, I walked up to the ice cream shop and got a double dip of coffee ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. At the time, this seemed like a much easier way of pacifying the horrible day I was having than doing a simple meditation practice. On my way home from the ice cream shop, I sat upon the steps of my local church and prayed for help with the current situation. As I truly allowed myself to feel and experience the mental pain and anguish caused by the physical pain, I cried, and the intense emotions dissipated. The rest of the day was pleasant, and I was able to interact with others—and myself-- more lovingly. I had reconnected with the peace within. The key to finding this peace is living in the present moment. The only place where peace truly exists is in the present moment. Moreover, the only way to connect with the present moment is through mindfulness meditation.

Most people cringe when I mention the word ‘meditation’. They get this look of fear on their face, tell me they have tried to meditate once or twice before, and inevitably say things like:

“I couldn’t stop thinking.”

“My mind was driving me crazy. There was no peace anywhere to be found. My mind was thinking more than usual!”


“All I could hear was my heartbeat and it nearly drove me insane. Plus, I kept thinking the same thought repeatedly.”

“I gave up trying to meditate because I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking. I’m just not cut out for it.”


Friends, allow me to clarify one thing with regard to the mind: the mind is not the enemy. It is the innate function of the mind to think, reason, acquire and apply knowledge. Therefore, when sitting for meditation, the key is not to stop the mind from doing its job, but to ‘Witness’ the mind. The key thing to remember is that the beginner’s goal in meditation is to watch the thoughts that arise in your mind. Simply be aware of the thoughts as they arise and disappear, and do not get ensnared by their drama. Just because you have a thought does not mean that you have to react to it. It is the mind’s job to think, so no matter what, unless you give it some downtime (i.e. meditation) and give it the space to turn in on itself, it will just keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

I know from experience that this may not be the easiest concept to grasp. The thought of ‘not being attached to thoughts’ and merely ‘witnessing’ them may seem rather odd, or even impossible. Thoughts come and go; it is as simple as that. As the Buddhists say, just think of them as clouds passing by in the sky. Alternatively, you can think of them like this: imagine that you have just poured yourself a tall glass of seltzer. You stare at the glass and watch as the bubbles at the bottom of the glass rise up, reach the top, hang out there for awhile, and then—POP—they’re gone. This is the way of thoughts: they are pulsations of energy that come and go.

When I say that the mind is not the enemy, I must make one thing clear. If you stay attached to your thoughts 24 hours a day, then the mind does enslave you. You have become a slave to your thoughts. However, if you learn some mindfulness techniques to help you begin a simple meditation practice, you will find that your mind is the vehicle that sets you free. You need your mind for Self-Realization. Your mind takes you to the Truth (peace) within yourself. Your mind is always seeking for something, always attaching itself to some sensory desire. As Osho says in his Book of Secrets, “The mind has to be turned from seeking to nonseeking.” This is done through meditation. The mind stops reacting to the world outside and begins to explore the incredible world within.

In future columns, I will be teaching you mindfulness techniques, simple meditation techniques, as well as sharing with you some important life lessons I have learned on my spiritual journey. For now, I would like to share with you the most simple meditation technique that you can do anywhere.

Find a comfortable position, perhaps sitting cross-legged on the floor with your back straight and your knees supported, or sitting upright on a chair with your feet hip width apart and your arms comfortably positioned at your side. Now, take a deep breath. While breathing in, count to four-- fill your entire lungs with air. Hold the air inside the lungs for a moment, and then slowly exhale—for approximately six to eight counts. Repeat this process three times. Feel as if you are filling a jar with water, and then slowly emptying the jar. This practice will help still the mind.

Close your eyes. Now, breathe naturally, and simply. Sit quietly and focus on your breath, not forcing anything, just watching your breath as it comes in and goes out. If you like, you can even say to yourself ‘breathing in’ on the inhalation, and ‘breathing out’ on the exhalation. Continue this practice for as long as you feel comfortable. If you begin to focus on your mind and become carried away with thinking, that is perfectly okay—your mind is used to being the focus of your attention. Just come back to your breath. Simply breathing in and breathing out.

Again, if you find yourself being enmeshed in your thoughts, please do not beat yourself up, be thankful that you have become aware of being caught up in the thought process and then go back to focusing on the breath.

You can do this exercise with your eyes open, as well. You might want to try it while waiting in line at the bank or the super market, or during commercials while watching TV. You can even do this practice as a walking meditation, being mindful of your breath and your surroundings. Of course, please do not try this or any other meditation while driving.

Until next month, be mindful of your breath as much as possible. The breath is the life force. It is the key to finding the freedom and peace we were born to find. The TRUTH that we are all searching for is closer than you could ever imagine. As Lao Tzu said in the Tao te Ching, “The greatest journey starts with one step”. Consider your new mindfulness breathing exercise your first step to innate freedom, joy, and bliss absolute.

Warm Regards,
Bhakti Brophy

PS HAPPY GURUPURNIMA!!!!

tags: Jaibhakti, Meditation, Bhakti Brophy, Osho, Siddha Yoga

Mystical Union With My Beloved Guru: A Poem

Communion with Gurumayi.
Sweet Communion.

I have been doing a
"Silent Weekend Retreat" at home.
Reflecting on The Self.
Contemplating the fact that I see
God everywhere, in every thing that exists.
(Why me? How did I get to this state?
Many lifetimes of inner work?
I am blessed beyond belief! Amen.)
Feeling the love and joy of the World
Pouring through my veins
While sunbathing in the backyard.

Earlier in the day, a doe pranced up to me--
She stopped about twenty feet away.
We gazed at each other for several precious moments.
I instantaneously recognized the doe
as a manifestation of Gurumayi.
(Gurumayi has an affinity for deer.)

Several hours later,
While lying on my stomach
Basking in the rejuvenating rays of the sun,
An image of myself sitting across
from Gurumayi entered my mind.
I felt her presence sitting across from me--
Her in a light-golden silk robe,
Sitting with her bare feet on the floor.
We were at her ashram
In a vanilla ice cream colored room.
I sat silently,
Absorbing her presence.
I was basking in OUR energy-
Our Love.

I drifted out of the lovely darshan
And began wondering if I could ever
Get a privite sitting with Gurumayi.
I began contemplating writing
to her ashram with this inquiry in mind.
I got only so far as beginning to wonder
What I would write in this letter
When I realized that
I WAS in the presence of my Beloved Gurumayi.
She WAS sitting before me,
Blessing me with her darshan.

We sat across from each other--
Gazing into each other's eyes.
I was absorbing our energy--
While she sat reflecting my purity, my spirit,
my light, and my innate Love.
No need for answers;
There are no more questions to ask.

(Two years ago,
I had already thanked her for
Everything she has already given to me--
Mainly igniting the dorment
Light of God within.)

This current darshan was pure LOVE.
I contemplated bowing down and kissing her feet.
She made it clear that this was not necessary.
Gurumayi sat across from me
And she slowly became transparent--
I, too, dissolved.
Our energies merged.

Gurumayi blessed me with her darshan
In such a graceful way
As to bless me with my own darshan.
We are One.
We have merged.

Our love is beyond words.
Our love is the purest form possible--
Indescribable,
And all intoxicating.
Our love is the reflection
of the light of God within.

Om Namah Shivaya.
Sadgurunath Maharaj ki Jay!

My wish is that everyone, everywhere realize that the light of God (please substitute whatever name you give to the sustaining force of the universe) is right within your own heart. You possess the light of God. You are a manifestation of God. No matter how 'bad' or 'sinful' you think you are, the light within your own heart is ten-million times stronger than any transgression. No matter how much pain and suffering you are undergoing, remember that
there is a calmness underneath that 'storm'. Meditation is the key in finding that peaceful place within.


Life is good.
My love,

Bhakti


For guidance in understanding the mystical experience of 'darshan', here is the Wikipedia definition: Darshan is a Sanskrit and Hindu (also used to some extent in Urdu) term meaning sight (in the sense of an instance of seeing something or somebody), vision, apparition, or a glimpse. It is most commonly used for visions of the divine; that is, of a god or a very holy person or artifact. We could have a "darshan" of the deity in the temple (at the gross level) or have a "darshan" in that inward eye of a light or awareness (at a subtle plane).

Definition of Guru: One who dispels the darkness of ignornance. (On a personal note, I would like to personally add that a 'true' Guru is one who ultimately teaches you that what you are searching for is right inside yourself. I would be weary of any guru who teaches otherwise. My Guru (Gurumayi) has showed me the light within myself. I am forever grateful, as I believe the above poem reflects. )

tags: Jaibhakti, mysticism, Gurumayi, poetry, darshan, Self-realization

PEACE ON EARTH

This doe is resting comfortably while her mother

hides herself a short distance away.

This photo was taken in my

Grandmother's backyard.

Every other day I throw peanuts out for the squirrels.

This little guy LOVES peanuts. I watched

him eat about 4 in a row!

In this photo you can see that the little rascal

has noticed my presence behind the

front window.

Check out the peanut he's guarding under his foot!!

No matter what hand I'm playing in life (and right now it seems to be the 'illness' card), I am still blessed enough to search out the magically wondrous beauty of the world. I love these two pictures, and I am thankful that I was able to see the beauty of these animals.
Enough about me, how are YOU all doing? Do tell!!!
Love,
Bhakti
tags:Jaibhakti, doe, deer, squirrel

Today's Lesson in Zen

"Life is like getting into a boat that is just about to set sail and sink."

-Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

We all know that life is impermanent: the mere fact that we are born means we are going to die. Why is it, then, that we spend most of our lives in a struggle? Why can't we embrace the fact that this life--no matter what our current circumstances--is a gift? I mean, think about it: we all hear stories about people who are told that they only have three months to live so they decide to do everything that they've ever wanted to do, and they make amends with their enemies, etcetra, etcetra. We're all going to die. Just because we haven't been given a certain date and time doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. Why do we have to wait until the doctor says our time is up to really start to live?

Every time we breath out there is no guarantee that we will take another in-breath; doesn't that just solidify the fact that every in-breath is an absolute gift?

Life is precious, and short, and precious.

These are just my thoughts for the day. :)

Blessings,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Zen, spirituality, Shunyru Suzuki Roshi

A RUMI Poem For You...

Looking For Your Face

From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it.

Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for.

Today I have found you
and those that laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did.

I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you with a hundred eyes.

My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold.

I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine.

Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow.

My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you

Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
and you have made radiant
for me
the earth and sky.

My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer.

--Rumi

(Click on Rumi's name for more info about this ecstatic Sufi poet!)


tags: Jaibhakti, Rumi, Sufism, spirituality, poetry

jwoihvkaorghan

jafoiha. naOIEFInnvpaoj. QOifnw;woeihheneoeo!!!! LLieji;woiehgh@@@.
Ljowie? NI!!! kdnfwoiehanfwoene. ndofinm, thoseijetr; tiahotieniae--thaoginareitoe..!!! knfgwoethlatktn!

LDeoirtoegjn,

wkaowirhg

How Am I Feeling??

Lots of you have so graciously been asking how I am feeling. Let me give you some background info: January was hell month. Literally. I hope that by my experiencing the pain that I felt in January that no one else will have to feel that kind of pain. That's a Buddhist tonglen meditation, and I hope it rings true.

Right now, I don't necessarily feel better physically, but my mental outlook has changed. The condition that I am left with after my spinal fusion is called neuropathy. It's root is at the C6 nerve root. It is a painful condition that is not curable, only treatable; i.e. the doctors will do the best that they can to help me live and deal with the pain.

I have an incredible outlook on life, and a great spirit. Couple that with an incredible family and a wonderful sense of humor, and I think I have all of the makings of someone who will beat this thing; or at least not let it ruin my life. I am, by nature, a very loving, giving person. I am also, by nature, someone who loves to laugh and smile. I will not let this neuropath condition change my outlook on life. In fact, it has only managed to strengthen my faith in everything that I love.


As you can see from the pictures that I have been posting lately, I have been looking for things of beauty that are very close to me, that I may have overlooked in the past. For example, the foggy night pictures. I was in awe of the beauty of that evening. (By the way, I have been posting pictures lately because it hurts too much for me to type right now. I am typing right now because I had another epidural injection this morning and am still feeling the beautiful effects of the Novocain and anesthesia.)


So, in answer to your questions about how I am feeling, well, I am still in physical pain. I am not back to work yet. However, as I stated above, my mental outlook on the situation is positive. You know, we always have a choice. I couldn't possibly change the physical condition that I am in today, but I definitely have a choice as to whether I am going to let it ruin my day or just accept it for what it is and then try to make the best of my day regardless. I choose the latter over the former: especially after learning that the pain(s) I am experiencing are due to nerve disease and, again, is not curable.


I love life. I love humor. I love learning. I love the sun, the moon, the Earth, and the sky. I love this world. I love my cat...my precious little angel. I love and thank God for my family and my friends. Everyone should be so blessed as to have a cousin as terrific as Cousin Chrissy (A.K.A. "CC") and a mom and dad and brothers and sister-in-laws as INCREDIBLE as I have been blessed with.


I also love all of you. I do. I can't thank all of you, my blogger buddies, enough, who have been such a source of joy and pleasure for me while going through this physical-health roller coaster for the past seven months.


I particularly wish to thank Gyrobo and Flatlander for ALWAYS making me laugh. Sometimes, when I was in too much pain to type, I would still look at other's blogs, and these two guys always brought a smile to my face. I don't know either of you personally, but I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, that you have filled my life with so much joy that I shall cherish you forever.


Also, a big hug to Miladysa--who went through a similar situation over the past several months. Thank you sweetie---big, big hugs for your love and support. To everyone who reads and comments on this blog--thank you dearly for filling my life with your presence and happy wishes. I appreciate all of you. I truly do.


To answer your question--"How are you doing, Bhakti?" Well, I may be in tremendous physical pain, but that is no matter. I have so much love in my heart. I will get through this. And I thank you all for keeping my spirits high.


Lots of love and all great blessings, Bhakti


PS I've been experimenting with self portraits lately. :)

tag: jaibhakti, photography