The Light Within Us All Shines Brighter Than A Million Suns!

I just returned home from another week-long stay in the hospital; this time for pain management. I have to say that no matter how much physical pain and drama in general that I experience in my life, there is still a light at the core of my being that can never be extinguished. As Baba Muktananda says, knowing this light, the Self within, is the purpose of each and every human birth. Time and time again, I am lead back to this light within, and I feel so blessed. To me, this light is the sustaining power of the entire universe.

I thank God for leading me home, to the source within. A source, by the way, that is available to each and every one of us--right within our own hearts.

Love and all great blessings,
Bhakti

Click here for a brief article defining 'Self Realization'.

tags: Jaibhakti, Self-Realization, Swami Muktananda, spirituality

Today's Lesson in Zen

"Life is like getting into a boat that is just about to set sail and sink."

-Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

We all know that life is impermanent: the mere fact that we are born means we are going to die. Why is it, then, that we spend most of our lives in a struggle? Why can't we embrace the fact that this life--no matter what our current circumstances--is a gift? I mean, think about it: we all hear stories about people who are told that they only have three months to live so they decide to do everything that they've ever wanted to do, and they make amends with their enemies, etcetra, etcetra. We're all going to die. Just because we haven't been given a certain date and time doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. Why do we have to wait until the doctor says our time is up to really start to live?

Every time we breath out there is no guarantee that we will take another in-breath; doesn't that just solidify the fact that every in-breath is an absolute gift?

Life is precious, and short, and precious.

These are just my thoughts for the day. :)

Blessings,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, Zen, spirituality, Shunyru Suzuki Roshi

A RUMI Poem For You...

Looking For Your Face

From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it.

Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for.

Today I have found you
and those that laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did.

I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you with a hundred eyes.

My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold.

I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine.

Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow.

My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you

Your effulgence
has lit a fire in my heart
and you have made radiant
for me
the earth and sky.

My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer.

--Rumi

(Click on Rumi's name for more info about this ecstatic Sufi poet!)


tags: Jaibhakti, Rumi, Sufism, spirituality, poetry

QUOTE OF THE MONTH and other nonsensical wisdomisms...

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

-George Bernard Shaw

No, I couldn't have said it better myself. We learn nothing from history. All we learn from history is to keep looking back to predict what will be. There is no 'what will be''; it's totally out of our control. I'm not talking about the absence of free will, it's just that, well, shit happens.

Lately, I'd been pushing my emotions away: Not dealing with anymore fear! Not dealing with any more pain! Not dealing with any more anger! Etc. Etc. However, that approach didn't work for me. Ultimately, I ended up crashing hard just in order to face the reality that was at hand.

My good friend Sally said to me something along the line that if you try to escape there is no escaping. That is SO true. I knew it was true with relation to emotional pain, but I didn't know it was true for physical pain as well. WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT??? you may be asking at this point. Well, what I'm talking about is rather than running away from the physical and mental pain that I have been going through lately, I learned that hard way that it is much easier and much more beneficial to just stare the pain right in the face, with a loving eye. No more running from the pain. Accepting, acknowledging, labeling, and then ultimately letting go of the resistance to pain is the only way to go about freeing myself from the pain.

I knew this before! I mean, I wrote an essay called Enter the Pain just a couple of months ago; but as the pain worsened the months went on, somehow I got into the habit of running from the pain--of creating diversions (TV, books, crushes on people I can't have, etc.). I didn't even realize I was copping out of the 'fight' until my meditation teacher/friend Sally told me to face the fears dead on. So I bit the bullet and began my regular meditation practice again. The result so far is that I've realized that I had reached an edge. When I was at what Pema Chodron calls the 'groundless' stage, I realized that there was no where else to hide. Nothing that I was doing was working. At the worst point in this running away charade I actually felt like I was leaning forward to get away from my mind and my body! No joke. Sounds crazy, but it's not. It was at that point that I began to ask for help. And it was at that point that I became so incredibly angry at my entire situation (chronic pain syndrome, radiculopathy, limited mobility for the past 9 months, and then having to resign from my teaching position) that I was able to move to a different stage. I cried out my anger. I acknowledged the pain. The fear. The anxiety. And, most importantly, the undying love that is still at my core. I realized that there is no fight, there is only acknowledgment and acceptance.

Why am I telling you all of this? For many reasons.

One: because I love my blog readers. I miss you and I want you to know that I miss you.

Two: I just wanted to convey that I had reached a really depressing stage in my recovery from this spinal surgery and its peripheral complications--yet, now I am beginning to see that perhaps hitting this dark space was very important so that I could make room for some light. It's all a part of my journey, and I thank GOD that I have such an incredible support system to help keep me on track!

Three: I finally felt like bloggin. :)

Thank you for listening. Thanks for you prayers and lovely comments.

Love,

Bhakti

tags: Jaibhakti, meditation, pain, spirituality