ETHICAL QUESTION #1: The Twinkie Dilemma
Wow--this one goes way back to my childhood:
When I was in third grade, a classmate of mine begged me for my Twinkie dessert. She promised that she would replace it the next day with either a Twinkie or something comparable. The next day she handed me a mini-bran muffin and said we were 'even'. I refused the bran muffin and said that she still owed me a Twinkie or at least something sweet that would constitute a (third grade) dessert. After all, I've seen her with pretty tasty looking desserts! She refused, and that pretty much ended our friendship.
I feel like she pulled one over on me. Was I right in getting upset at the bran muffin offering? Was she wrong in suggesting that a bran muffin is comparable to a Twinkie??
Twinkie picture downloaded from: www.bluegreenearth.com
posted by Unknown at 11:28 AM
21 Comments:
It seems to me that there are two value systems that have come to a head in this dilemma. First, we have to observe that you are willing to put either a) food, or b) your sense of honor (or call it virtue, honesty - what you will) before said friendship. I doubt you would, even in third grade, think Twinkies more important than friendship, but perhaps virtuous actions are.
From the friend's point of view, one of two things are happening: either she truly thought the muffin was comparable to the Twinkie, or else she brought the muffin with the intent to screw you. Two questions proceed from this observation: 1) Do you really want a friend who would try to screw you? and 2) Do you really want a friend who thinks a bran muffin is as good as a Twinkie?
I think you made the right decision in dropping the chica.
Actually, the person who gave me the bran muffin was pretty shady to begin with. I forgot to mention that she was eating an iced cupcake when she handed me the muffin. The ethical thing for her to do would have been to give me the cupcake, and she eat the nasty bran muffin.
She wasn't really a true friend to begin with. But the bran muffin thing nixed any hope of a friendship. That was third grade sensiblity. I've since run into her--as adults--and we got on fine.
I'm not still holding a grudge, although I DID mentally recall the exact place we where the Twinkie dilemma originated.
I think I need to move on... :)
Personally, now that I am an old lady, I think the Bran muffin sounds really yummy and the Twinkie sounds yucky, so it would be a fair trade...but to a third grader, maybe not. I had a friend who's family only ate really healthy food and Twinkies were not in their vocabulary....so maybe, your friend only had bran muffins to give you....maybe she wanted you to try it and thought you would like it....that would be a true friend. On the other hand, if she was a junk food junkie who just wanted to be mean, then, she did not deserve your friendship.
If I really liked someone and they were fun and we liked the same things, I would not even worry about the bran muffin.....If the person was not a true friend anyway, I would just forget about them and not give them my cherished Twinkees anymore.
Yes, well as I stated in an above Comment, she was eating an iced cupcake while handing me the bran muffin. I don't think she was being intentionally 'mean', I think she was just hoarding her junkfood.
You also have to keep in mind that this incident occurred during the late 1970s, when bran muffins were hardly a 'household name', as it were.
I think this was the first instance where I really had to decide if I wanted this person to be my friend; and I ultimately decided NO, I don't want to be friends with someone like this because it seemed to me that she was dishonest because of the infamous TWINKIE TRADE GONE AWRY.
You should have just peed in her lunchbox.
Hey Alex--Is that a picture of Marcus Aurelius or Epicticus (or however you spell his name)?
And, although I agree that your solution probably would have sent the message home that I was pissed (no pun...well, okay, the pun was intended) I couldn't see myself doing that--not only ethically, but logistically it would be difficult for me to have done that...
a twinkie and bran muffin are WORLDS apart. I would have rejected that “healthy treat” as well. twinkie! twinkie!
That's my hero, Caius Iulius Caesar, in fact. I sent a snarky reply to your email, but it seems the mail delivery system did not appreciate my sarcasm (I said it was Marcus Iulius Caesar, and at least you had the first name right - I realize it's a bad joke, but I'm a classicist, so you'll have to bear with me). Perhaps your firewall doesn't accept nerdy humor. Harrumph!
I am the QUEEN of nerdy humor...so I assure you that my email does not prevent nerdy humor from entering my stratosphere.
Better luck next time...
p.s. I do suppose that you at least like Epictetus ( I went upstairs to my 'library' and found his book--just to ensure proper spelling!)?
Epictetus coaches us to call forth the best we have by making our personal moral code explicit to ourselves. --pg. 82, The Art of Living
I believe I made my personal moral code explicit to myself by refusing to hang with a child who would offer a bran muffin as substitute for a Twinkie.
Giving someone a Twinkie and getting a bran muffin in exchange is like lending someone a Frank Zappa record and receiving a Barry Manilow album in return.
At least Mr. Manilow didn't name his child Moonbeam!
As for Epictetus, I enjoy a few of his maxims (especially the one that says if you truly want to find happiness, then you had better console yourself to the fact that you will repeatedly stumble and be often called a fool), though I am not really a stoic. I identify more with Epicureanism in that life can be pleasant, we just need to practice moderation in the things we do. If I ever need to just "bear" life as a stoic might suggest, then I think I am doing a pretty poor job of living.
Life is what we make of it, Bhakti. Be certain to use a good recipe.
Does Mr. Manilow HAVE a child??? :P
It's actually MOON UNIT, not Moonbeam, but you were really close, and I admire your effort.
I'm not a Stoic, either...I'm rather Prehi-stoic (that was really funny!!!) in that I love to read the ancient Hindu texts, even though I was born and raised nothing, but love Jesus. Having said that, I don't know much about Epicurianism, although I think it has something to do with when women get their toes painted, no?
Don't even tell me that you would rather listen to Barry than Frank (for the record, I'm not really obsessed with zappa the way I was 10 years ago), but if you WOULD rather listen to Barry than Frank, then I would have to surmise that you would probably have given me a bran muffin, too. :(
p.p.s. I really doubtthat Barry had any kids. And--if I'm wrong--he probably named his son Sue (like that Johnny Cash song?). Okay, bad joke.
And no...I'm not homophobic, I'm really cheesy song o phobic.
p.p.p.s. Great quote at the end of your comment! I love it!
My recipe kicks butt! :)
I see a love connection..........
between you and whom, Anonymous?
Me and Kitty Von Kitty
Chewy
I don't know what that last comment was supposed to mean; however, I have some important news about Kitty Von Kitty:
She dressed up as the drummer from KISS for Halloween. It was adorable; almost as if they were separated at birth.
(Note to readers: I've been housebound for three months; I don't get out much anymore. In other words, it doesn't take much (for me) to humor me.)
A scholarly thesis on the Vendetta of Twinkies
What you didn’t notice in this juvenile personality conflict was that you had a true ‘friend’ looking out for you. The motives of the greedy little girl notwithstanding, you received the better of the deal. She was merely an unknowing conduit hoarding what she thought was her treasure; a tasty, sugary, preservative infested, and chemically treated log of goo. Unfortunately, you bought into that mindset too, being young and desirous of all things noxious. You had an unwitting encounter with your ‘guardian angel’, ‘celestial voice’, ‘inner Tao’, or whatever term you want to use to describe it, and unbeknownst to you your welfare was being considered by a higher force. The girlfriend was just another player on the stage that is your personal interaction with the sublime, and she is really beside the point. Don’t waste time on her. Concentrate on the gift and see it for what it is.
Oh my gosh--I just either had a major case of deja vu, or we had this conversation before (probably at the toystore).
Happenstance is still abound on Jaibhakti...
That makes me want a Twinkie so bad right now. I LOVE them and can't remember the last time I had one. And a bran muffin is no substitute for the creamy filling of a Twinkie! Good call on that one.
I think that whatever was meant to happen happened and your rejected the muffin :)
Muffins and Twinkies are on opposite ends of the "Snack-sized cake spectrum."
One is a delicious tasty snack, with a hip spokes-twinky, which can still be eaten 40 years from now and still be tasty. The other is f'ing bran muffin.
You were right to be done with her.
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